A LOVING, SINCERE APOLOGY TO MY MOM

There have been many phone calls to my mother, since I became a mother, that have included apologies for things I did growing up. Maybe it is because I had my babies young and these things are still fresh in my memory, or maybe everyone remembers things like this, but here is yet another apology (I am sure I will be apologizing the rest of my life as I "live and learn" with my boys!!

So here it goes....

I am SSSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, SO, SO, SO sorry for never understanding when (and why) you needed alone time. More than being sorry for not understanding that, I am sorry for any guilt I ever caused you because of my lack of understanding this and taking it personally.

I get it now...

Better late than never...right?

I am sitting here - in my quiet house - for the first time since.....(racking my brain here).....well.... I am not sure how long..... (never, maybe).

This could not have come at a better time!!

The boys are at Vacation Bible School, which our church does in the evenings, for 2 1/2 hours. Now I must tell you that I have been feeling guilty because in the past I would be working at VBS (last year I worked VBS at a church I had never been too). I was asked/begged/pleaded to help, but because I have a drs appt this week and don't know if they are going to do anymore testing (and if so what will be involved), I told them I could not do it. I told them I did not want to commit and then not be able to do it. I have been feeling REALLY guilty about this!

I wanted to do it, kinda. I have always enjoyed doing VBS and I love working with the kids, but with my lack of energy and abundance of stress (will that ever turn around to abundance of energy and lack of stress???), it probably would not have been a good idea. If it was in the morning, I could probably make it through, but as the day goes on, the energy goes down and I have a hard time functioning well.

I am trying not to feel to guilty about dropping my kids off and leaving. I deserve a couple of hours by myself (and you always did too Mom!! - and still do)! I am doing this post so that I won't go clean house - which it could desperately use about now! This is why when Bryce was going to MDO and the others were at school, I would not come home! I see things that "need" to be done and think of how easy it would be to do without the kids here. So I still don't get to relax!

So, Mom, please forgive me and know that I have learned. I will have many more things that I will apologize to you for as the boys grow older, and as I have done in the past, I will stop what I am doing and call (or post). I love you very much and appreciate the patience you had with us growing up. I know it is a little late and my apology does nothing to give you that much needed time from then, but know that it taught me. I try to remember that the kids DON'T understand, and won't for many years to come. I will try to teach them why it is important for everyone to have some ALONE time!!

Thank you for yet another lesson learned....years after it was taught!