This morning, like so many other parents, I had the task of getting my kids to school. I have done this task so many times, for so many years. I would like to say I have never thought twice about it, but I have more times than I can count. But, honestly, sending my kindergartener to school I have never had the worry "What if someone comes in and starts shooting at these innocent babies?"
Friday, as I sat paralyzed, listening to the horrible information coming across the television and praying it was all a big mistake, I seriously thought about pulling my kids from school - for good. Who could do this to BABIES? What young adult could walk in to an elementary school and open fire on the teachers and principals and administrators that these kids see and look up to, MUCH LESS while the kids are in school. The fact that he also searched out children to do this to is just incomprehensible.
I did not pull my kids from school. Instead I pray! I pray for protection for my children. I pray for the world we live in. Who is to say if I did pull them out, the very next day someone doesn't break in to my house and do the exact same thing when I have them home and "safe?"
I can only do so much to protect my children. Anything can happen anywhere we are. I can not put them in a bubble (as much as I desperately want to). There is evil all around us. There are some things you can not prevent or predict. There are some people who seem nice and "normal" but people are very good at wearing mask and appearing to be something they are not.
All I can do is pray that they always have God's protection around them. I pray they have angels walking on both sides, in front, behind, above and below them. That HAS to be enough for me. Because if I don't have faith that God do what He has planned for them I would go crazy. I would be consumed with worry and fear all the time. I would be paralyzed. And, then I would teach my children to live the same way.
We ask why. We watch in search of answers. But, does it matter what they say? If they gave some "excuse" as to why he did this, what was going through his head, would it EVER make sense to us? Would it ever excuse the choices he made Friday morning?
There have been so many mass shootings. They are all horrible. They are all unfair and unexplainable. This one just seems so impossible. These kids don't even understand or get the evils of the world yet. They were all so innocent and unknowing. They have seen things that NO ONE should ever see. Their views of the world are forever changed and they have been forced to grow up way beyond their years. We protect our young children from stories like this, never thinking that we will become the story.
Today, as my children walked away from me to go to school they seemed smaller and more fragile than they have ever seemed to me.
My prayers go out to the grieving families, including the family of the gunmen, the people who go to work everyday to protect us and keep us well and had to see this horrible scene, etc. But, most of all, my prayers are with the survivors who saw things that no one should ever see, heard things that no one should ever hear and have to live with those sights and sounds of their teachers and friends for the rest of their life.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed. Psalm 34:18
Exodus 14:14 - The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still!
Monday, December 17, 2012
Wednesday, September 05, 2012
First Day of School 2012
FOUR in school this year!?!? It is so strange having one child at home. And, she is TOTALLY different alone than she is with a house full of brothers! When her brothers are home she is loud and crazy, just like them and she cannot do anything for herself. When she is home alone she is quiet and independent.
Caleb is in the eighth grade this year. He was ready to go back to school, but I think more so he could see his girlfriend and friends, than really to be back at school!
Isaac is in the fifth grade. He has some awesome teachers and was very excited to start school (unlike last year when he stressed about school all summer). He seems very confident this year.
Bryce is in the fourth grade. He was ready for school to start so he could see his friends.
Andrew is in Kindergarten. He has been way beyond excited. Since Christmas last year he has asked just about daily if it was time for him to go to school. Then his first day was the week after his brothers went. He did not think the day would ever come.
It was hard not to be sad about him going when he was SO excited about it. And, he still is! He came home the first day upset that he did not have homework! When he came home after school I asked if he was ready to forget school and stay home with me. He said "No way! You make me take naps!" I told him I wouldn't make him take a nap and he said he was going back to school. :( When they were out for the hurrication (hurricane vacation) last week he kept saying "we just started school and I already have to miss a week?"
I love that he loves school and I hope it stays that way forever!
Waiting on the bus. It was a toss up if he was more excited about the bus or school.
cutie :)
That smile is because he sees the bus coming FINALLY!!
The bus stops in front of him.....
And, then it LEAVES him standing there! He is saying "why did they just leave me here? Are they coming back?
They also forgot to drop him off in the afternoon. Then he had a bus change, and will be having another soon. But, he gets off a FULL HOUR EARLIER on the new bus (that is right - his afternoon bus ride was over an hour long!!!).
Caleb is in the eighth grade this year. He was ready to go back to school, but I think more so he could see his girlfriend and friends, than really to be back at school!
Isaac is in the fifth grade. He has some awesome teachers and was very excited to start school (unlike last year when he stressed about school all summer). He seems very confident this year.
Bryce is in the fourth grade. He was ready for school to start so he could see his friends.
Andrew is in Kindergarten. He has been way beyond excited. Since Christmas last year he has asked just about daily if it was time for him to go to school. Then his first day was the week after his brothers went. He did not think the day would ever come.
It was hard not to be sad about him going when he was SO excited about it. And, he still is! He came home the first day upset that he did not have homework! When he came home after school I asked if he was ready to forget school and stay home with me. He said "No way! You make me take naps!" I told him I wouldn't make him take a nap and he said he was going back to school. :( When they were out for the hurrication (hurricane vacation) last week he kept saying "we just started school and I already have to miss a week?"
I love that he loves school and I hope it stays that way forever!
They also forgot to drop him off in the afternoon. Then he had a bus change, and will be having another soon. But, he gets off a FULL HOUR EARLIER on the new bus (that is right - his afternoon bus ride was over an hour long!!!).
Feelings of Inadequacy
This year I have four kids in school and only one at home. In the past when I have only had one at home, I have always been pregnant with another one. I spent my time focusing on the one at home and trying to prepare the baby to no longer be the baby.
This time, the baby wants little to do with me, unless she needs something. There are days we walk in the house after we put the last child on the bus and she comes in and says "I am going to play by MYSELF!" And, that is what she wants to do.
Don't get me wrong. We spend time together. We play games, read, play the computer, run errands, etc., together, but she is not 100% dependent on me. And, there is not another one on the way that will be 100% dependent on me.
I have spent the last year, but REALLY over the summer, trying to decide what I was going to do when Mady went to school either next year or the year after (Kindergarten). Do I go back and finish my teaching degree, even though I know that is not what I want to do? What other degree would I be interested in?
My big dilemma....I don't feel like my job here is done. I still want (and need) to be here when my kids are (breaks, summer, when they are sick, bad weather, etc). I want to be home when they walk in the door excited or upset after school. I want to be able to go on the field trips, be at the awards ceremonies, band concerts, class parties, etc. I don't want anything of that to change for the kids.
On the other hand, for 11 years we have been a single-income household. It would be nice to have some extra income.
After months and months of back and forth, I keep coming back to me needing to work from home. I can be available to my children, I would not need to worry about having to call in every time a child is sick or school closes unexpectedly.
Here are where the feelings of inadequacy come in. After doing some research I found some companies that offer positions working from home (that are NOT scams from the research I did). There are not many out there! I sat down Monday evening to work on some applications and quickly starting feeling inadequate. I have not worked outside the house in ELEVEN years, why would anyone want to hire me, ESPECIALLY to work from home?
At home with my kids I don't have an overwhelming feeling of inadequacy. I definitely have moments of it. There are situations that come up that I really have to pray and ask if I am cut out for this job. I know I make mistakes - plenty of them! But, I feel like I am where I am supposed to be and doing the best I can.
I am going to fill out applications and send them in and just continue to pray. Pray that if this is what I am supposed to be doing He will guide me to the right thing for me and my family.
This is just another new chapter in this book of my life.
This time, the baby wants little to do with me, unless she needs something. There are days we walk in the house after we put the last child on the bus and she comes in and says "I am going to play by MYSELF!" And, that is what she wants to do.
Don't get me wrong. We spend time together. We play games, read, play the computer, run errands, etc., together, but she is not 100% dependent on me. And, there is not another one on the way that will be 100% dependent on me.
I have spent the last year, but REALLY over the summer, trying to decide what I was going to do when Mady went to school either next year or the year after (Kindergarten). Do I go back and finish my teaching degree, even though I know that is not what I want to do? What other degree would I be interested in?
My big dilemma....I don't feel like my job here is done. I still want (and need) to be here when my kids are (breaks, summer, when they are sick, bad weather, etc). I want to be home when they walk in the door excited or upset after school. I want to be able to go on the field trips, be at the awards ceremonies, band concerts, class parties, etc. I don't want anything of that to change for the kids.
On the other hand, for 11 years we have been a single-income household. It would be nice to have some extra income.
After months and months of back and forth, I keep coming back to me needing to work from home. I can be available to my children, I would not need to worry about having to call in every time a child is sick or school closes unexpectedly.
Here are where the feelings of inadequacy come in. After doing some research I found some companies that offer positions working from home (that are NOT scams from the research I did). There are not many out there! I sat down Monday evening to work on some applications and quickly starting feeling inadequate. I have not worked outside the house in ELEVEN years, why would anyone want to hire me, ESPECIALLY to work from home?
At home with my kids I don't have an overwhelming feeling of inadequacy. I definitely have moments of it. There are situations that come up that I really have to pray and ask if I am cut out for this job. I know I make mistakes - plenty of them! But, I feel like I am where I am supposed to be and doing the best I can.
I am going to fill out applications and send them in and just continue to pray. Pray that if this is what I am supposed to be doing He will guide me to the right thing for me and my family.
This is just another new chapter in this book of my life.
Thursday, August 02, 2012
Equality for All?
I try not to let things in society bother me too much. That is not to say I don't care or want things to be different. I simply feel if I get to caught up in it all it will eat away at me, consume me and frustrate me.
There are a couple of things going on lately that have become hard for me to ignore.
First, our state has decided to allow low-income kids in failing schools to get vouchers to go to other schools, including private schools. I see both sides of the argument with this choice. I see where the state is trying to give these kids a chance at a good education and I applaud them for realizing that some of their schools are lacking the ability to do that. I also see where it is not fair to those who actually pay their tuition to go to the schools. It is my understanding that if the state does not cover all of the tuition with these vouchers, the private school absorbs these cost (which means the paying students absorb this cost).
While I don't totally agree with this program, this is how I have decided to look at it: Many of these kids come from dysfunctional families that do not attend a church. This is getting many kids, that would otherwise never have the ability to learn about Christ, an opportunity to learn about Him and give them at least a chance to make their own, more informed, decision about the kind of life they want to live.
If I look at it this way I can make this a positive thing in my mind.
My only lingering issues are that I feel like this should not be income-based. Once again, the middle class is left behind. I cannot afford to put five kids in private school. While we are not in a failing school, I know we are not the only people that would not be able to afford it. Since the state has decided that middle class SHOULD BE ABLE to afford it, they are not offered a way out of the failing schools.
My other issue is that this has turned in to a religious argument. School has not even started, kids have not been in the classroom yet and there are already people arguing the right or wrong of public funds being used to teach creationism. If the state starts going in and changing how/what PRIVATE schools teach, I have a problem with that. The point of these schools are that parents have more of a say as to what/how their children learn. They pay, in many cases quite a bit, for that choice.
If a parent does not like something that a particular school teaches, don't send your child there. No one is FORCING anyone into private schools, they are simply offering to pay for your child to go to a better-performing school and offering your child a chance at a good education. I don't think the state should get to change anything about the private schools and how they are run. That includes adding assessment test. If they want to add assessment test, give them to the kids that are on vouchers only. Honestly, if kids are going from failing to passing, isn't that assessment enough?
Our news station put a post about this subject on their fb page and it became a huge argument between the religious and the non-religious. That is not what this was ever about. This is about a state that is struggling with education, ADMITS they are struggling and is trying to give options to help the students. So many people get mad because the state won't do anything to fix their problems and then they get mad because of their solution. No schools, at this point anyway, are being FORCED to participate. And, it is not just private schools that you can get vouchers for. It is just that more private schools have agreed to accept students. No parents are being forced to put their child in any particular school, either. It is an OPTION being made available. Take it or leave it, but don't try and change those that are agreeing to help!
One comment that really ate away at me in the fb debate was this:
"I know that this is not a political debate, but I am a democrat and some of the things I have seen posted are what is wrong within the Republican Party. Religious beliefs/sanctities will be the fall of religion in America. Honestly, Christians as mush as they may fight against it and hate it... they are the chief cause... yes, I am off topic, but the truth is the harder they fight for "their rights" its the harder us liberal "athiests" fight for our rights. I don't think anyone (for the most part hates God), but there is a difference between having reverence for God, fearing God, and more times than not using God to propel your own beliefs religiously."
So, as a Christian, if I am reading this correctly, if I fight for MY rights it is my fault that the nation is in the place it is in. See, I thought that is why people WANTED to be in America. Because they could believe what they wanted to believe and not be put down or punished. Why is it okay for "atheists" to fight however hard they have to for their rights and the "religious" are supposed to sit back and take it? When a child is told that he/she cannot read a Bible in a public place or a "government building" my rights are being infringed upon. But, I should just take that because I would not want to stir the pot of the non-religious and cause the fall of religion in America?
And to the person that posted in the same debate "Your parents just chose to teach values through religion because it was the easy way." I can guarantee you that in the world we live in now, teaching values is not easy in any way and neither is being a Christian. Unfortunately, often times peers are heard louder than parents. Being religious is so much more than just teaching values.
I will say right now that we choose to raise our children in a religious home. That does not mean that one day they won't decide it isn't for them. And, that also does not mean that if they turn their back to their religion or they live a life that we don't completely agree with that we will turn our back on them or love them any less. We don't choose to teach our children religion to make our life easier or to make teaching our children easier. We choose it because we BELIEVE IN IT! We live it because we BELIEVE IN IT!
The other topic that has been bothering me lately is this whole Chick-fil-a argument (which some how was also brought up in the fb debate about public funds going towards teaching of creationism). I never read anywhere where anyone with Chick-fil-a said anything negative about non-traditional marriage. From what I saw, he simply said that he believed in a traditional family. That is HIS OPINION AND BELIEF! Who are we (anyone) to judge him for his belief? What makes YOUR belief any more right/wrong, better/worse than his? Why is it okay for you to speak your opinions so openly and loudly, but because he believes something different he gets called names, his business gets bashed and boycotted, etc. This is America. He has the right to have his own belief. You have a right to your beliefs, and you have a right to not spend your money where you don't want to.
The people that are calling him a bigot, I think they are confused about the definition. Bigotry is defined as intolerance toward those who hold different opinions from oneself. Has Chick-fil-a ever turned someone away and not served them because they believe something different than the founders of the chain? Dan Cathy did not go on a crusade to bash anyone. He was asked his believes and he spoke out honestly about them. Now colleges and cities who shout that they are for equality want Chick-fil-a's kicked off their campuses and not to be built in their city because he does not believe what they do? How is that equality? If we are going to believe everyone is equal, no matter race, sex or religious belief then how can we penalize him for what he feels is right? How can we even question that or allow that to become headlines for any period of time?
I will teach my children that it is okay to not have the same views/opinions/thoughts as other people and that it is okay for them to stand up for what they believe in. And, that if others disagree with their opinion that is okay too. There will never be a time when everyone agrees with everyone or everything. But, no one should ever attack or be attacked because they don't agree with the believes of someone else
As a friend put it earlier:The intolerance of those screaming for tolerance has become deafening.
There are a couple of things going on lately that have become hard for me to ignore.
First, our state has decided to allow low-income kids in failing schools to get vouchers to go to other schools, including private schools. I see both sides of the argument with this choice. I see where the state is trying to give these kids a chance at a good education and I applaud them for realizing that some of their schools are lacking the ability to do that. I also see where it is not fair to those who actually pay their tuition to go to the schools. It is my understanding that if the state does not cover all of the tuition with these vouchers, the private school absorbs these cost (which means the paying students absorb this cost).
While I don't totally agree with this program, this is how I have decided to look at it: Many of these kids come from dysfunctional families that do not attend a church. This is getting many kids, that would otherwise never have the ability to learn about Christ, an opportunity to learn about Him and give them at least a chance to make their own, more informed, decision about the kind of life they want to live.
If I look at it this way I can make this a positive thing in my mind.
My only lingering issues are that I feel like this should not be income-based. Once again, the middle class is left behind. I cannot afford to put five kids in private school. While we are not in a failing school, I know we are not the only people that would not be able to afford it. Since the state has decided that middle class SHOULD BE ABLE to afford it, they are not offered a way out of the failing schools.
My other issue is that this has turned in to a religious argument. School has not even started, kids have not been in the classroom yet and there are already people arguing the right or wrong of public funds being used to teach creationism. If the state starts going in and changing how/what PRIVATE schools teach, I have a problem with that. The point of these schools are that parents have more of a say as to what/how their children learn. They pay, in many cases quite a bit, for that choice.
If a parent does not like something that a particular school teaches, don't send your child there. No one is FORCING anyone into private schools, they are simply offering to pay for your child to go to a better-performing school and offering your child a chance at a good education. I don't think the state should get to change anything about the private schools and how they are run. That includes adding assessment test. If they want to add assessment test, give them to the kids that are on vouchers only. Honestly, if kids are going from failing to passing, isn't that assessment enough?
Our news station put a post about this subject on their fb page and it became a huge argument between the religious and the non-religious. That is not what this was ever about. This is about a state that is struggling with education, ADMITS they are struggling and is trying to give options to help the students. So many people get mad because the state won't do anything to fix their problems and then they get mad because of their solution. No schools, at this point anyway, are being FORCED to participate. And, it is not just private schools that you can get vouchers for. It is just that more private schools have agreed to accept students. No parents are being forced to put their child in any particular school, either. It is an OPTION being made available. Take it or leave it, but don't try and change those that are agreeing to help!
One comment that really ate away at me in the fb debate was this:
"I know that this is not a political debate, but I am a democrat and some of the things I have seen posted are what is wrong within the Republican Party. Religious beliefs/sanctities will be the fall of religion in America. Honestly, Christians as mush as they may fight against it and hate it... they are the chief cause... yes, I am off topic, but the truth is the harder they fight for "their rights" its the harder us liberal "athiests" fight for our rights. I don't think anyone (for the most part hates God), but there is a difference between having reverence for God, fearing God, and more times than not using God to propel your own beliefs religiously."
So, as a Christian, if I am reading this correctly, if I fight for MY rights it is my fault that the nation is in the place it is in. See, I thought that is why people WANTED to be in America. Because they could believe what they wanted to believe and not be put down or punished. Why is it okay for "atheists" to fight however hard they have to for their rights and the "religious" are supposed to sit back and take it? When a child is told that he/she cannot read a Bible in a public place or a "government building" my rights are being infringed upon. But, I should just take that because I would not want to stir the pot of the non-religious and cause the fall of religion in America?
And to the person that posted in the same debate "Your parents just chose to teach values through religion because it was the easy way." I can guarantee you that in the world we live in now, teaching values is not easy in any way and neither is being a Christian. Unfortunately, often times peers are heard louder than parents. Being religious is so much more than just teaching values.
I will say right now that we choose to raise our children in a religious home. That does not mean that one day they won't decide it isn't for them. And, that also does not mean that if they turn their back to their religion or they live a life that we don't completely agree with that we will turn our back on them or love them any less. We don't choose to teach our children religion to make our life easier or to make teaching our children easier. We choose it because we BELIEVE IN IT! We live it because we BELIEVE IN IT!
The other topic that has been bothering me lately is this whole Chick-fil-a argument (which some how was also brought up in the fb debate about public funds going towards teaching of creationism). I never read anywhere where anyone with Chick-fil-a said anything negative about non-traditional marriage. From what I saw, he simply said that he believed in a traditional family. That is HIS OPINION AND BELIEF! Who are we (anyone) to judge him for his belief? What makes YOUR belief any more right/wrong, better/worse than his? Why is it okay for you to speak your opinions so openly and loudly, but because he believes something different he gets called names, his business gets bashed and boycotted, etc. This is America. He has the right to have his own belief. You have a right to your beliefs, and you have a right to not spend your money where you don't want to.
The people that are calling him a bigot, I think they are confused about the definition. Bigotry is defined as intolerance toward those who hold different opinions from oneself. Has Chick-fil-a ever turned someone away and not served them because they believe something different than the founders of the chain? Dan Cathy did not go on a crusade to bash anyone. He was asked his believes and he spoke out honestly about them. Now colleges and cities who shout that they are for equality want Chick-fil-a's kicked off their campuses and not to be built in their city because he does not believe what they do? How is that equality? If we are going to believe everyone is equal, no matter race, sex or religious belief then how can we penalize him for what he feels is right? How can we even question that or allow that to become headlines for any period of time?
I will teach my children that it is okay to not have the same views/opinions/thoughts as other people and that it is okay for them to stand up for what they believe in. And, that if others disagree with their opinion that is okay too. There will never be a time when everyone agrees with everyone or everything. But, no one should ever attack or be attacked because they don't agree with the believes of someone else
As a friend put it earlier:The intolerance of those screaming for tolerance has become deafening.
Monday, April 02, 2012
Kindergarten of Yesteryear
This is lengthy, but it has been weighing heavily on me lately.
My fourth child is starting kindergarten in August. You would think, coming from a mom whose FOURTH child is starting kindergarten, I would have known exactly what to expect when I went to "Kindergarten Round-up". I left disappointed, aggravated and with a sour taste about the year to come.
Andrew was VERY excited to go check out his new school and do what needed to be done so that he could be a mighty big Kindergartener as soon as possible. He could not wait. He talked about it for weeks leading up to the day. He woke up the morning of, got dressed, fixed his hair and asked ALL day "Is it time yet?" until 4:30 finally rolled around. He walked proudly into the school. He paid very close attention to everything everyone said. He was overly interested in every description of every classroom, lunch room, playground and restroom that was pointed out. I have NEVER seen him so excited but alert and absorbent of information as he was that day. He used every manner that we have spent years teaching.
Then the disappointment. At the end of the tour there were two classrooms set up for the kids to actually visit. In the first classroom the kids would get to decorate a cookie and eat it, the most important room for obvious reasons! The second room they got to go in and color. This is what he was most excited about out of the whole tour. Getting to see a BIG classroom.
He proudly walked in to the first room, his chest puffed up, head held high. He walked in slowly, looking around, taking in all the different sights. He walked to a seat at the table with a cookie sitting on a plate and icing and lots of different sprinkles in the middle of the table. He carefully picked up the plastic knife and while telling me the importance of being careful with knives he covered every last bit of that cookie with the creamy icing. Then he carefully sprinkled the top of it with a little of each option.
As he sat there eating his cookies, I was listening to the conversations going on around me.
There were several teachers walking around talking to the children. "What is your name?", "How old are you?", "What school are you coming from?" That is the question that sparked my interest in the conversations around me.
The teachers would listen as EACH student said what school they went to. They would stand there for several minutes and talk to each child about the school they are in and their friends and what they like about their school days.
Then they got to my child.
"What is your name?"
"Andrew" he said proudly lifting the star that hung around his neck with his name written on it, smiling ear to ear the whole time.
"And what school do you go to Andrew?"
"I am going to go here!"
"I know! Where do you go now?"
"I don't go to school. I stay home with my Mommy and sister."
"Oh."
That was it. Teacher after teacher left it at that. No conversation. No "What is your favorite part of the day. No "what are you looking forward to." They simply walked away from him and moved to the next child. I noticed the pattern, but more importantly HE noticed. Every time he was asked he looked a little more deflated.
The second classroom he walked in and was told that he could sit anywhere he wanted and color. He seemed a little less excited about this class. The teacher walked up and asked his name.
"Andrew!" he again answered proudly, lifting his star with his name printed on it.
"What school do you go to?"
"I don't go to school." He said as he looked at me in that didn't-we-just-have-this-conversation way.
"Oh!" was again the reply. "Well Andrew, can you write your name for me."
"No, I can't write it by myself, but I can write it over what Mommy writes." (in other words he can trace his name)
"OH! WELL, can you tell me what your name STARTS with?"
Andrew seems annoyed, but he lifts his star and points to the a and says "A"
Then he looks down. But, quickly, before she has time to say anything else, he lifts his head back up, picks up his star and says "N-D-R-E-W" sounding very annoyed. The teacher did not say anything else. No "good job" or anything. He colored for a minute and said he was ready to go.
Why should my child feel like LESS of a student because he is not in school BEFORE Kindergarten? Why should I be made to feel like a failure of a parent because my child is not in school BEFORE Kindergarten?
When I was in Kindergarten it was more of a social thing than a homework, test, minute -by-minute planned out and scheduled day. Don't get me wrong, we learned. We learned how to be nice to others, manners, hands on play, IMAGINATIVE play. We learned how to write, our A-B-C's, numbers and some beginner reading.
Kindergarten was more of a stepping stone from being at home or daycare into being in a school environment. It wasn't requiring five year olds (which really range from four year olds up to six year olds) to sit for long periods of time, get checks for speaking or getting up or playing with someone. We sat in circles and read stories. We didn't have to get up and take a test about the story that was read to us.
It seems now as soon as they start kindergarten they are being groomed for standardized test (which is REALLY a whole different rant). They are expected to sit and listen. They are expected to absorb things that honestly, I am not quite sure is always in their realm of absorption at that age. They are expected to keep their hands to themselves, their eyes on the teacher, their mouth closed and their ears open. They are given a FIFTEEN to TWENTY minute RECESS (WOW!!!!! That is it???). They are not allowed to talk at lunch.
We wonder why our society is falling apart? When do kids learn to BE KIDS? To be FRIENDS? To interact with people in a way that is not full of boundaries and rules and lines that are not to be crossed? Don't get me wrong. I think lines and boundaries and rules are important. But a four year old kissing another four year old (not that I am encouraging this at all) should not be grounds for "character building" class (being seperated from the general public for a day - ALL day, not getting to leave the room for anything other than going to the potty), checks in conduct folders, phone calls home, visits to the principal, etc.
Kids are starting school earlier and earlier. Pre-School starts at 3. We expect THREE year olds to walk in a room, put their lunch boxes away, sit at their desk and quietly work away at the assignments given to them. We expect them to patiently wait until someone says they can go play. We EXPECT more than just children being children. We expect them to come equipped with manners and the ability to problem solve with other children and adults at the age of 3.
I am not bashing those who put their children in school early. Some kids need it. I have children that went to school at 3 because they NEEDED it. I have children that stayed home until they started kindergarten. They did not "need" it. I also understand that some kids have to go to school because of parents working. That used to be called day care, and it used to be fun. Even more daycares now are using curriculums and very strict schedules. I have one child that I wish did NOT go to preschool because he was so bored in kindergarten.
Every child is different. That is my point. Why is MY child less of a student because he is going to kindergarten with no previous "schooling". Why can a teacher not have a conversation with my child because he has been at home with his mother for five years. Why am I frowned upon because I made the decision to raise my child at home with me?
If they HAD attempted to have a conversation with him they would have learned that he is a very sweet and affectionate child. They would have learned that he talks well beyond his age. They would have found that he loves to and is eager to learn and was excited to be with them. They would have found that socially he is leaps and bounds beyond where many of the other, "schooled" children are and that he could be friends with anyone that would let him and would die trying to be friends with those that won't. They would have found that he is hilarious and has an awesome personality.
They would have found that the things that so many grown-ups complain are lacking in so many children are the things that they are not being taught any more because the schools expect the parents to teach these things. At the same time, the schools want the kids to come to school already knowing the basics. Everyone seems to be in a race to see who can learn the most the fastest. Who can get the highest test scores. Who can be the best school in the country. Do those scores and titles really matter if we are not teaching the most fundamental lessons of life? Who cares if you have the most intelligent child in the country if he cannot have a conversation with anyone or coexist with people?
When it comes down to it, we put so much pressure on our kids to be their very best at SCHOOL but we don't give them the tools to be their very best in life.
I am proudly a mother that keeps my child home as long as I can without holding him back. There might be many kids that go into Kindergarten and know how to write their name, read a book, etc. Andrew might be in "trouble" some at the beginning because he does not understand that he has to sit for how ever many minutes at a table doing work. However, he WILL know that he is loved and that I enjoy spending every possible minute with him. He will know that whether he is the smartest kid in the class or not is not how my love for him is measured. He will know that I want him to be able to be young and enjoy his early years. He will know his manners (now I just hope he chooses to use them). He will know that there are expectations placed upon him, but they will not be that he comes home with an A on every paper.
Thirteen years is a lot of years to spend in a classroom. I know each year is important. I want him to go to college and have a great career doing something he loves. But, I don't want him to start school the minute he can walk, talk and do anything for himself. I don't want his imagination squashed for the advancement of some government agenda. I want him to be the funny, creative, sweet little boy that I have GLADLY spent the last five years playing with, teaching and loving. I want to have every minute I can with him before he doesn't have time for me. I don't want his first 25 years of life to be spent in schools so he can turn around and spend the next 50 working. I want to instill in him things that most schools don't take the time to teach, but expect to see.
When it comes to Mady's turn around I plan to do just as I have done with the first four kids. I will play it by ear. I will see what her needs are and I will go from there. I will NOT rush my children into growing up because that is what society is doing. I will allow my children to be care free as long as they can.
My fourth child is starting kindergarten in August. You would think, coming from a mom whose FOURTH child is starting kindergarten, I would have known exactly what to expect when I went to "Kindergarten Round-up". I left disappointed, aggravated and with a sour taste about the year to come.
Andrew was VERY excited to go check out his new school and do what needed to be done so that he could be a mighty big Kindergartener as soon as possible. He could not wait. He talked about it for weeks leading up to the day. He woke up the morning of, got dressed, fixed his hair and asked ALL day "Is it time yet?" until 4:30 finally rolled around. He walked proudly into the school. He paid very close attention to everything everyone said. He was overly interested in every description of every classroom, lunch room, playground and restroom that was pointed out. I have NEVER seen him so excited but alert and absorbent of information as he was that day. He used every manner that we have spent years teaching.
Then the disappointment. At the end of the tour there were two classrooms set up for the kids to actually visit. In the first classroom the kids would get to decorate a cookie and eat it, the most important room for obvious reasons! The second room they got to go in and color. This is what he was most excited about out of the whole tour. Getting to see a BIG classroom.
He proudly walked in to the first room, his chest puffed up, head held high. He walked in slowly, looking around, taking in all the different sights. He walked to a seat at the table with a cookie sitting on a plate and icing and lots of different sprinkles in the middle of the table. He carefully picked up the plastic knife and while telling me the importance of being careful with knives he covered every last bit of that cookie with the creamy icing. Then he carefully sprinkled the top of it with a little of each option.
As he sat there eating his cookies, I was listening to the conversations going on around me.
There were several teachers walking around talking to the children. "What is your name?", "How old are you?", "What school are you coming from?" That is the question that sparked my interest in the conversations around me.
The teachers would listen as EACH student said what school they went to. They would stand there for several minutes and talk to each child about the school they are in and their friends and what they like about their school days.
Then they got to my child.
"What is your name?"
"Andrew" he said proudly lifting the star that hung around his neck with his name written on it, smiling ear to ear the whole time.
"And what school do you go to Andrew?"
"I am going to go here!"
"I know! Where do you go now?"
"I don't go to school. I stay home with my Mommy and sister."
"Oh."
That was it. Teacher after teacher left it at that. No conversation. No "What is your favorite part of the day. No "what are you looking forward to." They simply walked away from him and moved to the next child. I noticed the pattern, but more importantly HE noticed. Every time he was asked he looked a little more deflated.
The second classroom he walked in and was told that he could sit anywhere he wanted and color. He seemed a little less excited about this class. The teacher walked up and asked his name.
"Andrew!" he again answered proudly, lifting his star with his name printed on it.
"What school do you go to?"
"I don't go to school." He said as he looked at me in that didn't-we-just-have-this-conversation way.
"Oh!" was again the reply. "Well Andrew, can you write your name for me."
"No, I can't write it by myself, but I can write it over what Mommy writes." (in other words he can trace his name)
"OH! WELL, can you tell me what your name STARTS with?"
Andrew seems annoyed, but he lifts his star and points to the a and says "A"
Then he looks down. But, quickly, before she has time to say anything else, he lifts his head back up, picks up his star and says "N-D-R-E-W" sounding very annoyed. The teacher did not say anything else. No "good job" or anything. He colored for a minute and said he was ready to go.
Why should my child feel like LESS of a student because he is not in school BEFORE Kindergarten? Why should I be made to feel like a failure of a parent because my child is not in school BEFORE Kindergarten?
When I was in Kindergarten it was more of a social thing than a homework, test, minute -by-minute planned out and scheduled day. Don't get me wrong, we learned. We learned how to be nice to others, manners, hands on play, IMAGINATIVE play. We learned how to write, our A-B-C's, numbers and some beginner reading.
Kindergarten was more of a stepping stone from being at home or daycare into being in a school environment. It wasn't requiring five year olds (which really range from four year olds up to six year olds) to sit for long periods of time, get checks for speaking or getting up or playing with someone. We sat in circles and read stories. We didn't have to get up and take a test about the story that was read to us.
It seems now as soon as they start kindergarten they are being groomed for standardized test (which is REALLY a whole different rant). They are expected to sit and listen. They are expected to absorb things that honestly, I am not quite sure is always in their realm of absorption at that age. They are expected to keep their hands to themselves, their eyes on the teacher, their mouth closed and their ears open. They are given a FIFTEEN to TWENTY minute RECESS (WOW!!!!! That is it???). They are not allowed to talk at lunch.
We wonder why our society is falling apart? When do kids learn to BE KIDS? To be FRIENDS? To interact with people in a way that is not full of boundaries and rules and lines that are not to be crossed? Don't get me wrong. I think lines and boundaries and rules are important. But a four year old kissing another four year old (not that I am encouraging this at all) should not be grounds for "character building" class (being seperated from the general public for a day - ALL day, not getting to leave the room for anything other than going to the potty), checks in conduct folders, phone calls home, visits to the principal, etc.
Kids are starting school earlier and earlier. Pre-School starts at 3. We expect THREE year olds to walk in a room, put their lunch boxes away, sit at their desk and quietly work away at the assignments given to them. We expect them to patiently wait until someone says they can go play. We EXPECT more than just children being children. We expect them to come equipped with manners and the ability to problem solve with other children and adults at the age of 3.
I am not bashing those who put their children in school early. Some kids need it. I have children that went to school at 3 because they NEEDED it. I have children that stayed home until they started kindergarten. They did not "need" it. I also understand that some kids have to go to school because of parents working. That used to be called day care, and it used to be fun. Even more daycares now are using curriculums and very strict schedules. I have one child that I wish did NOT go to preschool because he was so bored in kindergarten.
Every child is different. That is my point. Why is MY child less of a student because he is going to kindergarten with no previous "schooling". Why can a teacher not have a conversation with my child because he has been at home with his mother for five years. Why am I frowned upon because I made the decision to raise my child at home with me?
If they HAD attempted to have a conversation with him they would have learned that he is a very sweet and affectionate child. They would have learned that he talks well beyond his age. They would have found that he loves to and is eager to learn and was excited to be with them. They would have found that socially he is leaps and bounds beyond where many of the other, "schooled" children are and that he could be friends with anyone that would let him and would die trying to be friends with those that won't. They would have found that he is hilarious and has an awesome personality.
They would have found that the things that so many grown-ups complain are lacking in so many children are the things that they are not being taught any more because the schools expect the parents to teach these things. At the same time, the schools want the kids to come to school already knowing the basics. Everyone seems to be in a race to see who can learn the most the fastest. Who can get the highest test scores. Who can be the best school in the country. Do those scores and titles really matter if we are not teaching the most fundamental lessons of life? Who cares if you have the most intelligent child in the country if he cannot have a conversation with anyone or coexist with people?
When it comes down to it, we put so much pressure on our kids to be their very best at SCHOOL but we don't give them the tools to be their very best in life.
I am proudly a mother that keeps my child home as long as I can without holding him back. There might be many kids that go into Kindergarten and know how to write their name, read a book, etc. Andrew might be in "trouble" some at the beginning because he does not understand that he has to sit for how ever many minutes at a table doing work. However, he WILL know that he is loved and that I enjoy spending every possible minute with him. He will know that whether he is the smartest kid in the class or not is not how my love for him is measured. He will know that I want him to be able to be young and enjoy his early years. He will know his manners (now I just hope he chooses to use them). He will know that there are expectations placed upon him, but they will not be that he comes home with an A on every paper.
Thirteen years is a lot of years to spend in a classroom. I know each year is important. I want him to go to college and have a great career doing something he loves. But, I don't want him to start school the minute he can walk, talk and do anything for himself. I don't want his imagination squashed for the advancement of some government agenda. I want him to be the funny, creative, sweet little boy that I have GLADLY spent the last five years playing with, teaching and loving. I want to have every minute I can with him before he doesn't have time for me. I don't want his first 25 years of life to be spent in schools so he can turn around and spend the next 50 working. I want to instill in him things that most schools don't take the time to teach, but expect to see.
When it comes to Mady's turn around I plan to do just as I have done with the first four kids. I will play it by ear. I will see what her needs are and I will go from there. I will NOT rush my children into growing up because that is what society is doing. I will allow my children to be care free as long as they can.
Friday, March 30, 2012
The Hatching
A couple of years ago we had a bird build a nest in our backyard. These Killdeers build nest on the ground in rocks, mulch, whatever is around. They are very interesting because they run away from their nest and act injured if you approach where the nest are at.
Well, the whole nest on the ground in the backyard of four boys and two dogs thing ended tragically. Someone (although no one ever fessed up) smashed the eggs. Mama bird was NOT happy and made it known.
Last year there was no nest in the flowerbed. We thought they had learned. But, this year, they were back. We went in the same flowerbed to pull weeds and Betsy and Larry started squawking and carrying on making a huge scene. She ran away with one wing stretched out, carrying herself in an awkward manner and limping about. Sometimes Larry flies away, sometimes he runs injured like Betsy, sometimes he just stays. I know their sceme now though. I peeked around and found a nest with eggs.
I can't pull weeds in the flowerbed without upsetting Betsy and Larry! The flowerbed looked bad enough because we never had a heavy enough freeze to cut back my roses and they are out of control. We also never had a heavy enough freeze to kill out weeds, so the bed is in SAD shape, but we are teaching the kids a lesson!
I didn't think this was going to end well again this time. Shortly after the boys realized there was a nest, one of the boys brought an egg to the flowerbed right by the back porch. He made a cozy little nest, similar to the one Betsy and Larry made. I was told by another child. I picked the egg up into the cup. I placed it next to the nest on the ground, hoping Betsy and Larry would take the egg back. When I went out the next day they had!
Wednesday Paul was going to his Jeep, which is parked at the end of the driveway (toward the flowerbed). He noticed Betsy on the other side of the fence quite upset. I know it was Betsy because she was upset that she had three babies going in three different directions and she could not gain control over them. That is how Mom's are ;) There was still one egg in the nest though.
Yesterday I decided to check on the status of the last egg. I did not even make it to the flowerbed before Betsy started her injury act, coming right at me. Larry came running to the nest and got between me and it and stayed that way.
I can tell which is which because Betsy goes into panic mode when someone comes near her babies. Larry stays calm but protective ;)
I look over at the nest and then had to run and get my camera. This is what I saw:
12:32 pm
12:42 pm
12:50pm
12:58 pm
1:19 pm
1:32 pm About a foot away from the nest
2:22 pm even further from the nest
4:22 pm Not quite keeping up with his siblings yet, but getting around pretty well
I will say that Betsy and Larry quickly got okay with me coming out to take pictures. Betsy would walk off, but not screaming and acting injured. Larry would stay right with the baby and keep his eyes on me. The boys absolutely loved coming home last night and seeing the pictures of the hatching baby. Hopefully, now that they have seen the FULL process, they will all be more understanding and respectful of animals and their nests.
Now.....TIME TO GO PULL WEEDS!!!!!!!
Well, the whole nest on the ground in the backyard of four boys and two dogs thing ended tragically. Someone (although no one ever fessed up) smashed the eggs. Mama bird was NOT happy and made it known.
Last year there was no nest in the flowerbed. We thought they had learned. But, this year, they were back. We went in the same flowerbed to pull weeds and Betsy and Larry started squawking and carrying on making a huge scene. She ran away with one wing stretched out, carrying herself in an awkward manner and limping about. Sometimes Larry flies away, sometimes he runs injured like Betsy, sometimes he just stays. I know their sceme now though. I peeked around and found a nest with eggs.
I can't pull weeds in the flowerbed without upsetting Betsy and Larry! The flowerbed looked bad enough because we never had a heavy enough freeze to cut back my roses and they are out of control. We also never had a heavy enough freeze to kill out weeds, so the bed is in SAD shape, but we are teaching the kids a lesson!
I didn't think this was going to end well again this time. Shortly after the boys realized there was a nest, one of the boys brought an egg to the flowerbed right by the back porch. He made a cozy little nest, similar to the one Betsy and Larry made. I was told by another child. I picked the egg up into the cup. I placed it next to the nest on the ground, hoping Betsy and Larry would take the egg back. When I went out the next day they had!
Wednesday Paul was going to his Jeep, which is parked at the end of the driveway (toward the flowerbed). He noticed Betsy on the other side of the fence quite upset. I know it was Betsy because she was upset that she had three babies going in three different directions and she could not gain control over them. That is how Mom's are ;) There was still one egg in the nest though.
Yesterday I decided to check on the status of the last egg. I did not even make it to the flowerbed before Betsy started her injury act, coming right at me. Larry came running to the nest and got between me and it and stayed that way.
I can tell which is which because Betsy goes into panic mode when someone comes near her babies. Larry stays calm but protective ;)
I look over at the nest and then had to run and get my camera. This is what I saw:
I will say that Betsy and Larry quickly got okay with me coming out to take pictures. Betsy would walk off, but not screaming and acting injured. Larry would stay right with the baby and keep his eyes on me. The boys absolutely loved coming home last night and seeing the pictures of the hatching baby. Hopefully, now that they have seen the FULL process, they will all be more understanding and respectful of animals and their nests.
Now.....TIME TO GO PULL WEEDS!!!!!!!
Monday, March 19, 2012
Birthday Pictures - Andrew and Madeleine
Andrew and Madeleine have their birthdays in April. I wanted to try this idea I had of making an invitation with a picture of them holding a sign with their party info. So, yesterday we took birthday photos (I removed some information before posting).
Andrew is having a dinosaur theme with green, blue, purple, orange and yellow. Madeleine in having a pink and yellow (with some butterflies and flowers) theme. I love yellow and pink together so I enjoyed making the pink and yellow tutu that she required (I wanted a girly girl, right?).
Andrew will be five on the 11th. We will be registering him for Kindergarten on Thursday. Madeleine will be three on the 19th. Daddy will be.....older.....on the 16th (busy month).
They were pretty cooperative for the pictures, in a we still took 300 pictures to get a handful of good ones kind of way. Andrew was distracted by leaves, bugs, dirt, etc. Things that distract little boys. Mady was distracted by bugs, dirt, mud, etc. Things that she tries to avoid ;) Bribery helped and I left with my hair still attached to my head, so I would call it a success.
Mady was not thrilled about the pictures of her standing in the creek. The water was cool and right next to wear she was standing there was MUD (*GASP*). Out of the 50+ pics we took in that pose most of them are her making disgusted faces. When she accidentally stepped in the mud and it was squishing between her toes, she about had me dying. I think I laughed at her the whole time. But, out of all of that came one of my favorite pics of her yet.
Two of my cuties:
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Forever Love
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
I am one of the lucky ones. One of those that found her "forever love" at an early age. One that, after more than 16 years together (that is HALF OF OUR LIVES) STILL knows that he IS my forever love.
We have both done a LOT of growing up together. That is what happens when you start dating your husband-to-be at the ripe old age of 16!
I am a better person because of him. I am a stronger, more confident, capable woman. I know I can do anything that I set my mind to, and I know he will always be there to support me and encourage me.
We are best friends. Not only do we love each other, but we truly still like each other. We realize and understand that if we don't make an effort to focus on US, eventually there will be no us. We may not get to go "out" but we always make time for us to focus on each other. We don't want our kids to move out and we are left with nothing in common.
I never doubt how he feels about me. He shows me constantly, not only with his words, but with his actions. If he never said I love you (which he does all the time), I would know he loved me by the way he treated me.
He keeps me grounded. He doesn't let me get caught up in the things that, truly, in the long run, don't matter.
He makes me LAUGH! He can find a way to make me see the humor in any situation, even when I REALLY don't want to.
He teaches our kids what to give and expect in a relationship. Yep, it grosses some of them out to see us be affectionate to one another but, one day they will understand and get it. He makes a point of letting the kids hear him tell me he loves me.
Some people NEVER have this kind of love, their entire life. I AM one of the lucky ones. He is and always will be my FOREVER LOVE!
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:
If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
Paul: I love you (more) and I am so glad you continue to ask me to be yours year after year! I am so thankful that God gave you to me. HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!
Colossians 3:12-19
Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
I am one of the lucky ones. One of those that found her "forever love" at an early age. One that, after more than 16 years together (that is HALF OF OUR LIVES) STILL knows that he IS my forever love.
We have both done a LOT of growing up together. That is what happens when you start dating your husband-to-be at the ripe old age of 16!
I am a better person because of him. I am a stronger, more confident, capable woman. I know I can do anything that I set my mind to, and I know he will always be there to support me and encourage me.
We are best friends. Not only do we love each other, but we truly still like each other. We realize and understand that if we don't make an effort to focus on US, eventually there will be no us. We may not get to go "out" but we always make time for us to focus on each other. We don't want our kids to move out and we are left with nothing in common.
I never doubt how he feels about me. He shows me constantly, not only with his words, but with his actions. If he never said I love you (which he does all the time), I would know he loved me by the way he treated me.
He keeps me grounded. He doesn't let me get caught up in the things that, truly, in the long run, don't matter.
He makes me LAUGH! He can find a way to make me see the humor in any situation, even when I REALLY don't want to.
He teaches our kids what to give and expect in a relationship. Yep, it grosses some of them out to see us be affectionate to one another but, one day they will understand and get it. He makes a point of letting the kids hear him tell me he loves me.
Some people NEVER have this kind of love, their entire life. I AM one of the lucky ones. He is and always will be my FOREVER LOVE!
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:
If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
Paul: I love you (more) and I am so glad you continue to ask me to be yours year after year! I am so thankful that God gave you to me. HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!
Colossians 3:12-19
Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them
Friday, January 20, 2012
Enjoy This Time.....
The other day I had the radio on while I was cleaning house and playing with the kids. I was only half way listening to the music, but in between songs I caught the DJ talking about how she was at the grocery store with her three young children. They were all tired and cranky and hungry. An older lady walked up gushing over the kids and said to enjoy the time she had with her kids because before you know it they are grown up and don't need you anymore.
I hear this a lot. And, sometimes I feel like I am a bad person or something is wrong with me because, honestly, sometimes I just can't imagine that these people that are saying this truly enjoyed every second of parenting. Either that, or I have done a horrible job raising my kids.
Yesterday, I had a woman stop me at the big box store. I had Mady in the buggy, trying to hold EVERYTHING that is put in the buggy at once so her brother could not touch anything. She would whine every time something fell out of her way-over-full arms. Meanwhile, Andrew is throwing things we do not need in the buggy. When this woman stopped me, I had told Andrew to pick ONE box of pop-tarts and he was telling me that he needs two boxes and he was going to get two boxes. We were back and fourth, one box, no two, okay zero boxes, etc. She said the most honest thing anybody has ever stopped and told me.
"It is hard, but when they have grandchildren it is both your reward and your revenge!"
I smiled at her and said "Thank you and I can't wait for that day!" She just smiled and continued on. I will never forget this comment and on some days it may be my motto.
As this DJ (who apparently read the same article that a FB friend just sent me the link to) said, I don't think it is the act of parenting that they love as much as the act of HAVING parented.
It is easy to forget the hard stuff when you are not in the midst of the hard stuff. It HAS to be. If we didn't forget the hard stuff we would NEVER have more than one child. Parenting, like giving birth, HURTS! I did not love giving birth to five kids, but I love that I GAVE birth to them.
The love and the good times far outweigh the bad.
I am not saying that I want to rush through every day with my kids. But, some days I do. Some days I am merely surviving. I don't think it matters if you have one kid or 10 kids, I think if we are all honest, every mother has these moments. The moments where you daydream about getting to sleep through the night, go on dates, being spontaneous, traveling, etc. Doing all these things without the monumental planning process that goes in to every move you make. Even for me to go to the bathroom these days, if I want to go alone I have to plan distracting the kids or watching for them to distract themselves and sneaking off.
I would love to skip the hard things. My children's hearts being broken. Discipling (contrary to my children's believes, it really is not fun), phone calls from school, bullies, fights (between siblings, parents/kids, other kids). The hard decisions that effect the kids and family. These are all things I could live without. But, these are the things that make us ALL who we are!
I do want to enjoy the times my kids are home. I won't enjoy EVERY minute, though. I know they are growing way too fast. I agree that when they are grown I will miss the time we are in now. I have daily reminders of that since I have such a wide age-range of children. It is easier to see where I have been with the first one when I have another one going through it. It is also easier to see how fast they are growing up.
But, I will love when they are "parented" and on their own too. And, I will REALLY love them when they have their own babies and truly get what it is to be a parent!
I hear this a lot. And, sometimes I feel like I am a bad person or something is wrong with me because, honestly, sometimes I just can't imagine that these people that are saying this truly enjoyed every second of parenting. Either that, or I have done a horrible job raising my kids.
Yesterday, I had a woman stop me at the big box store. I had Mady in the buggy, trying to hold EVERYTHING that is put in the buggy at once so her brother could not touch anything. She would whine every time something fell out of her way-over-full arms. Meanwhile, Andrew is throwing things we do not need in the buggy. When this woman stopped me, I had told Andrew to pick ONE box of pop-tarts and he was telling me that he needs two boxes and he was going to get two boxes. We were back and fourth, one box, no two, okay zero boxes, etc. She said the most honest thing anybody has ever stopped and told me.
"It is hard, but when they have grandchildren it is both your reward and your revenge!"
I smiled at her and said "Thank you and I can't wait for that day!" She just smiled and continued on. I will never forget this comment and on some days it may be my motto.
As this DJ (who apparently read the same article that a FB friend just sent me the link to) said, I don't think it is the act of parenting that they love as much as the act of HAVING parented.
It is easy to forget the hard stuff when you are not in the midst of the hard stuff. It HAS to be. If we didn't forget the hard stuff we would NEVER have more than one child. Parenting, like giving birth, HURTS! I did not love giving birth to five kids, but I love that I GAVE birth to them.
The love and the good times far outweigh the bad.
I am not saying that I want to rush through every day with my kids. But, some days I do. Some days I am merely surviving. I don't think it matters if you have one kid or 10 kids, I think if we are all honest, every mother has these moments. The moments where you daydream about getting to sleep through the night, go on dates, being spontaneous, traveling, etc. Doing all these things without the monumental planning process that goes in to every move you make. Even for me to go to the bathroom these days, if I want to go alone I have to plan distracting the kids or watching for them to distract themselves and sneaking off.
I would love to skip the hard things. My children's hearts being broken. Discipling (contrary to my children's believes, it really is not fun), phone calls from school, bullies, fights (between siblings, parents/kids, other kids). The hard decisions that effect the kids and family. These are all things I could live without. But, these are the things that make us ALL who we are!
I do want to enjoy the times my kids are home. I won't enjoy EVERY minute, though. I know they are growing way too fast. I agree that when they are grown I will miss the time we are in now. I have daily reminders of that since I have such a wide age-range of children. It is easier to see where I have been with the first one when I have another one going through it. It is also easier to see how fast they are growing up.
But, I will love when they are "parented" and on their own too. And, I will REALLY love them when they have their own babies and truly get what it is to be a parent!
Friday, January 13, 2012
The First "Date"??
Not really sure what happened tonight, it is all a blur.
Night before last Mady was up ALL night throwing up. That means I was up all night attempting to catch throw up and clean her up. Needless to say yesterday I got nothing done. Today we were out all day trying to get Paul what he needs for his trip to Toronto.
While we were out we found out that the company Paul is working for is possibly being bought out. Let's just say it is something we are stressing about!
So tonight, we are feeding the masses (known as our children) and the doorbell rings. Let's back-track a bit. Sunday Caleb said something about going out with his girlfriend and another "couple" this weekend. I told him we would have to talk about it. That was the last we heard about it. He is 13. Not really ready for him to "date!" Not to mention there had been a string of completely irresponsible actions on his part AND the fact he was told earlier today he was grounded for the weekend.
So, tonight the door bell rings. Paul answers it and there are two giggly girls asking if Caleb was home. We have not met Caleb's girlfriend. Caleb goes outside for a few minutes and comes back in and ask if he can go to the movies with his girlfriend. He said he told her we had said no.
Paul and I just looked at each other. We were put on the spot. We went out to meet his girlfriend and her mother. The plan was that her mother was taking them to a movie and staying and another two kids were going.
This is where the evening got awkward and embarrassing. Everything in us was saying we should make him stay home. However, we felt bad that her Mom had driven over with the understanding that he was going and the lack of communication. I commented that we had no cash on us because we did not know this was happening. She said she would pay.
I look over at Caleb, with his goofy, innocent grin, and ask if he was planning on wearing his school uniform. He says "Do I have too?" and continues standing there. I told him they were needing to go (still had someone else to pick up and had to get to the movies) and if he was planning on changing he needed to get busy.
Well, it is cold outside. I couldn't make everyone stand outside while he changed so I had to invite them in. Remember at the beginning of the post I said Mady had been sick and then we were gone all day today. Needless to say, my house is a DI.SASSSSSSS.TERRRRRRRRRR! I have not done much the last two days. Clothes folded in piles all over the couch and coffee table. The kids toys everywhere. We were in the middle of feeding kids, so the kitchen was destroyed. Can we say embarrassing?
As a friend so sensitively put it: I have a dirty house, no money and no idea what my kid is up to! Love how she can put things in perspective for me and make me NOT feel better about the situation!!
Hindsight is 20/20. My son is on his first date - he is not supposed to be. Besides that - this is why boyfriends moms get bad raps! OR - maybe this is why girlfriends get bad raps. Depends on what story you believe and what perspective you take. Did Caleb really tell her we said no and she thought if she showed up and put us on the spot we would let him go? (Okay, yes it worked). Or, was Caleb irresponsible and did not tell her we said no. He genuinely seemed surprised she was there (even if he wanted it to play out that way - we probably would have thought nothing of him changing out of his uniform and he is ALWAYS in front of the mirror).
This is what I know.
I hope Caleb enjoys his first date. It was nothing like I envisioned. There was not prep. There are no pictures. There IS a funny (though irritating) story.
I hope he enjoyed it. It might very well be his LAST date for a long time.
He might think he won. I am going to let him have that this evening. Because tomorrow he will know that he most certainly did NOT win. Tomorrow is when reality hits.......
UPDATE LATER SAME EVENING: As I pace the house waiting on my son to return from his first night out with a girl (yes I like the way that sounds better than the "date" word), with a 20 dollar bill in my hand, it occurs to me that there is something horribly wrong with the fact that I am waiting to PAY for my son after he has been out with a girl.
Just sayin'!!!
Night before last Mady was up ALL night throwing up. That means I was up all night attempting to catch throw up and clean her up. Needless to say yesterday I got nothing done. Today we were out all day trying to get Paul what he needs for his trip to Toronto.
While we were out we found out that the company Paul is working for is possibly being bought out. Let's just say it is something we are stressing about!
So tonight, we are feeding the masses (known as our children) and the doorbell rings. Let's back-track a bit. Sunday Caleb said something about going out with his girlfriend and another "couple" this weekend. I told him we would have to talk about it. That was the last we heard about it. He is 13. Not really ready for him to "date!" Not to mention there had been a string of completely irresponsible actions on his part AND the fact he was told earlier today he was grounded for the weekend.
So, tonight the door bell rings. Paul answers it and there are two giggly girls asking if Caleb was home. We have not met Caleb's girlfriend. Caleb goes outside for a few minutes and comes back in and ask if he can go to the movies with his girlfriend. He said he told her we had said no.
Paul and I just looked at each other. We were put on the spot. We went out to meet his girlfriend and her mother. The plan was that her mother was taking them to a movie and staying and another two kids were going.
This is where the evening got awkward and embarrassing. Everything in us was saying we should make him stay home. However, we felt bad that her Mom had driven over with the understanding that he was going and the lack of communication. I commented that we had no cash on us because we did not know this was happening. She said she would pay.
I look over at Caleb, with his goofy, innocent grin, and ask if he was planning on wearing his school uniform. He says "Do I have too?" and continues standing there. I told him they were needing to go (still had someone else to pick up and had to get to the movies) and if he was planning on changing he needed to get busy.
Well, it is cold outside. I couldn't make everyone stand outside while he changed so I had to invite them in. Remember at the beginning of the post I said Mady had been sick and then we were gone all day today. Needless to say, my house is a DI.SASSSSSSS.TERRRRRRRRRR! I have not done much the last two days. Clothes folded in piles all over the couch and coffee table. The kids toys everywhere. We were in the middle of feeding kids, so the kitchen was destroyed. Can we say embarrassing?
As a friend so sensitively put it: I have a dirty house, no money and no idea what my kid is up to! Love how she can put things in perspective for me and make me NOT feel better about the situation!!
Hindsight is 20/20. My son is on his first date - he is not supposed to be. Besides that - this is why boyfriends moms get bad raps! OR - maybe this is why girlfriends get bad raps. Depends on what story you believe and what perspective you take. Did Caleb really tell her we said no and she thought if she showed up and put us on the spot we would let him go? (Okay, yes it worked). Or, was Caleb irresponsible and did not tell her we said no. He genuinely seemed surprised she was there (even if he wanted it to play out that way - we probably would have thought nothing of him changing out of his uniform and he is ALWAYS in front of the mirror).
This is what I know.
I hope Caleb enjoys his first date. It was nothing like I envisioned. There was not prep. There are no pictures. There IS a funny (though irritating) story.
I hope he enjoyed it. It might very well be his LAST date for a long time.
He might think he won. I am going to let him have that this evening. Because tomorrow he will know that he most certainly did NOT win. Tomorrow is when reality hits.......
UPDATE LATER SAME EVENING: As I pace the house waiting on my son to return from his first night out with a girl (yes I like the way that sounds better than the "date" word), with a 20 dollar bill in my hand, it occurs to me that there is something horribly wrong with the fact that I am waiting to PAY for my son after he has been out with a girl.
Just sayin'!!!
Saturday, January 07, 2012
The Encounter
This morning Paul decided we needed to take a road trip. He decided he wanted to go check out a national forest in Mississippi. He is always looking for places to go kayaking.
We had a map with road names, however, out in Nowhereville, Mississippi the roads don't have signs to match those names with. We ended up on the road we started, but not where the directions had us going. It was still on the way, just a slight detour.
Shortly after getting on the road we were not supposed to be on, we were looking at the map figuring out the easiest way to get where we were trying to go. I heard Paul say "MAN!" and looked up just as a police man came over a hill in the opposite direction and turned on his lights.
Paul pulled over before the officer even passed us to turn around and come after us.
As he walked up to the car the yapper dog starts barking at him and made him flinch. That is how the encounter began!
He immediately pulled a gun on us and said "what are you doing in these parts wearing THAT (referring to the LSU hat). If you don't give me a REALLY good reason, I am going to shoot."
Paul took off as fast as he could. He was shooting at us the whole time.
We finally outran him and made it to the forest. After driving around for a while we saw a dog being attacked by a wolf. The poor dog had a collar on. We saved the poor dog from a certain death and killed the wolf with our bare hands.
Then,
Okay, so our trip was not THAT adventurous!
So, he walked up and the dog started barking at him.
"License please." he said. "I was going to forgive you going 95....."
"But you saw the Louisiana plates?" Paul asked.
"Well and then the hat. There is really no reason for forgiveness!" the officer said.
"We were looking at the map trying to figure out how to get where we are going....." Paul began to explain.
"Don't look at the map. You have a wife there who knows exactly where you are going. And, I bet this nice vehicle has cruise control."
He then asked where we were going and gave us directions (what do ya know - I DID know where we were going). He also told us to slow down because there were four new rookies who would DEFINITELY give us a ticket.
As he reached his vehicle he turns back around and yells "AND GET A NEW HAT WHILE YOU ARE AT IT!"
Glad we got an officer with a sense of humor and forgiving nature!
Oh, and by the way, Paul was NOT going 95 or anywhere near it!
There was a dog in the forest that was running around with a collar on and no people around. We happened to have dog treats and got the dog to come to us. We called the owner and he came and got him.
Wasn't the initial story much better (no, I don't really want to live ANY of those adventures).
We had a map with road names, however, out in Nowhereville, Mississippi the roads don't have signs to match those names with. We ended up on the road we started, but not where the directions had us going. It was still on the way, just a slight detour.
Shortly after getting on the road we were not supposed to be on, we were looking at the map figuring out the easiest way to get where we were trying to go. I heard Paul say "MAN!" and looked up just as a police man came over a hill in the opposite direction and turned on his lights.
Paul pulled over before the officer even passed us to turn around and come after us.
As he walked up to the car the yapper dog starts barking at him and made him flinch. That is how the encounter began!
He immediately pulled a gun on us and said "what are you doing in these parts wearing THAT (referring to the LSU hat). If you don't give me a REALLY good reason, I am going to shoot."
Paul took off as fast as he could. He was shooting at us the whole time.
We finally outran him and made it to the forest. After driving around for a while we saw a dog being attacked by a wolf. The poor dog had a collar on. We saved the poor dog from a certain death and killed the wolf with our bare hands.
Then,
Okay, so our trip was not THAT adventurous!
So, he walked up and the dog started barking at him.
"License please." he said. "I was going to forgive you going 95....."
"But you saw the Louisiana plates?" Paul asked.
"Well and then the hat. There is really no reason for forgiveness!" the officer said.
"We were looking at the map trying to figure out how to get where we are going....." Paul began to explain.
"Don't look at the map. You have a wife there who knows exactly where you are going. And, I bet this nice vehicle has cruise control."
He then asked where we were going and gave us directions (what do ya know - I DID know where we were going). He also told us to slow down because there were four new rookies who would DEFINITELY give us a ticket.
As he reached his vehicle he turns back around and yells "AND GET A NEW HAT WHILE YOU ARE AT IT!"
Glad we got an officer with a sense of humor and forgiving nature!
Oh, and by the way, Paul was NOT going 95 or anywhere near it!
There was a dog in the forest that was running around with a collar on and no people around. We happened to have dog treats and got the dog to come to us. We called the owner and he came and got him.
Wasn't the initial story much better (no, I don't really want to live ANY of those adventures).
Thursday, January 05, 2012
Her First Date
Mady got up this morning at 5:30 and was in a horrible mood. She would not give, or let Daddy give her, a kiss, hug, say goodbye or even look at him.
This morning after a bubble bath she kept saying she needed to talk to Daddy, but would not tell me why. I finally gave up and called him and gave the phone to Mady.
"Daddy, you come home now and play dollhouse?"
Fast forward to about time to start dinner and she comes in and asked if she could have a "Daddy and Mady" dinner at Wal Mart. She has never asked for or had a "Daddy and Mady" dinner. I told her she could help me cook.
Helping me cook turned in to her and Daddy eating alone in the dining room. She requested that we get out the "special" dishes. She insisted on a pink teapot for their tea to be poured from. She told me she wanted brownies and ice cream for their dessert (good thing we had that!).
Then she needed to wear a dress. Oh, and don't forget to do my hair. And earrings. And a necklace and bracelet. "Mommy I need my makeup too!"
Mady does not fool around when it comes to food. You don't put her plate on the table unless you are ready for her to start shoveling food in her mouth. Daddy didn't know he had a date tonight. He was late - a good bit late! Mady watched her brothers eat, but she would not eat until Daddy got home.
When he got home, she went shy! She gave him a silly grin and hid behind me. Once they sat down and started eating she was better. I have had Pan dora on all afternoon. At one point while they were eating she leaned over to Daddy and said "Do you like this song?"
She would not allow Daddy to pour the drinks or get more food. "Mommy do it" was what she would say (yeah, thanks Mads!). When he did leave for a second, she went in the kitchen and got him and told him to go back and sit down.
After dinner and dessert she had to change clothes. She needed pajamas and Daddy needed to change out of work clothes and then go play dollhouse with his date!
This will be the only kind of date she will have for a VERY long time (ever if Daddy has his way). My heart melted into puddles as I sat in the kitchen listening to them in the dining room. I could sit here and listen to the giggles coming from that room ALL. NIGHT. LONG! I am truly VERY blessed!
notice how she grabs his ears to pull him in for a kiss (hehehe)
This morning after a bubble bath she kept saying she needed to talk to Daddy, but would not tell me why. I finally gave up and called him and gave the phone to Mady.
"Daddy, you come home now and play dollhouse?"
Fast forward to about time to start dinner and she comes in and asked if she could have a "Daddy and Mady" dinner at Wal Mart. She has never asked for or had a "Daddy and Mady" dinner. I told her she could help me cook.
Helping me cook turned in to her and Daddy eating alone in the dining room. She requested that we get out the "special" dishes. She insisted on a pink teapot for their tea to be poured from. She told me she wanted brownies and ice cream for their dessert (good thing we had that!).
Then she needed to wear a dress. Oh, and don't forget to do my hair. And earrings. And a necklace and bracelet. "Mommy I need my makeup too!"
Mady does not fool around when it comes to food. You don't put her plate on the table unless you are ready for her to start shoveling food in her mouth. Daddy didn't know he had a date tonight. He was late - a good bit late! Mady watched her brothers eat, but she would not eat until Daddy got home.
When he got home, she went shy! She gave him a silly grin and hid behind me. Once they sat down and started eating she was better. I have had Pan dora on all afternoon. At one point while they were eating she leaned over to Daddy and said "Do you like this song?"
She would not allow Daddy to pour the drinks or get more food. "Mommy do it" was what she would say (yeah, thanks Mads!). When he did leave for a second, she went in the kitchen and got him and told him to go back and sit down.
After dinner and dessert she had to change clothes. She needed pajamas and Daddy needed to change out of work clothes and then go play dollhouse with his date!
This will be the only kind of date she will have for a VERY long time (ever if Daddy has his way). My heart melted into puddles as I sat in the kitchen listening to them in the dining room. I could sit here and listen to the giggles coming from that room ALL. NIGHT. LONG! I am truly VERY blessed!
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