Velcro Baby

I just read an interesting article by Dr. William Sears called Handling the High-Need Baby in the Feb 2010 edition of BabyTalk.

He had three boys and then a girl. He was describing how his daughter acted, how she was always clingy, always wanted to be held, cried non-stop until she got what she needed, etc.

He described Mads perfectly, and I loved the term they used....Velcro Baby - SO MADY!!

He gave ways to soothe a Velcro Baby. I must say that most of them I have figured out and do (although I thought I was just being a bad mom :))

Basically, he says to respond to their needs, it is the only way to get rest. Mady still does not sleep through the night. She does not get up to play, she basically just wants to see that someone is still there. I think that if she were to sleep in our room still she would probably be able to sleep all night (but I am more scared of trying to break her of sleeping in my room than I am of loosing sleep right now). I go in her room, give her a small bottle and she is good the rest of the night. Letting her cry it out like the dr told me to do, NEVER worked. She might fall back asleep after crying forever, but she would wake up several times a night, each time more upset. I really tried for many nights, it just never worked and I was getting even less sleep than just getting up with her the one time.

She has always been a high-need baby. She still had to be swaddled up to about 6 months old to go to sleep. She needed her womb environment MUCH longer than any of my boys did (in fact for the most part my boys did not want to be swaddled and I NEVER made the house quiet for them to sleep - and they sleep through anything now). She is VERY particular of how her room has to be to sleep (dark, quiet except for her lullabies and cool with a blanket close by). She often gets carried in the front carrier, still, while we are at home because that is the only way I can get stuff done.

He says not to worry about spoiling and it will actually make her more trusting and you will have a closer relationship. We will see about all of that. As for now, I am just doing the best this mom can do with the challange that has been presented to her. I have tried what the "books" and drs have tried and they have not worked for THIS baby. It is reassuring to read a pediatrician/nurse duo have had the same struggle I am having. It is even more reassuring to know that they did the same thing I am doing and their daughter turned out great!

Mady is getting better. She still wants to be held a LOT, but she has periods of time where she wants to crawl and play and I do as much as I can in those periods. However, when she is down playing, Daddy or I still have to be in her sight at all times. Otherwise she quickly tracks us down - crying the whole way.

Here is to all of the Velcro Babies, and even more to the parents of Velcro Babies. May God bless us all with unlimited patience (PLEASE) and the ability to function on little rest (so, please don't let anything happen to my espresso machine). Just remember, God doesn't give you more than you are capable of handling! (If this is giving me practice for what lies ahead, I might need to tattoo that to my forehead!)

Now, my Velcro Baby calls from her VERY short nap (her brothers are home)! Through all of this, I can still say with complete honesty that I LOVE having a baby girl, velcro and all! I would not change a thing about her!