Tragedies

Sometimes you hear or see things that really make you think about your own life. This has happened twice in the past week. First, this past weekend my mom was outside her house when she heard an accident happen in front of her neighbors house. She ran down to help, but there was nothing she could do. The car hit a concrete culvert and flipped. He was not wearing his seatbelt and the vehicle landed on top of him (did I mention he was driving a Jeep....just like my hubby?). He was the son of a very well known man in their area and had a six month old baby.

Then, yesterday I was reading through some blogs that I read regularly. One blog wrote about a blog she had read. This blog is about a 29 year old SAHM with four children ranging from 3 to 8 years old. In October her husband of 10 years suddenly got sick. He ended up in the hospital on oxygen. They had to intubate him. They gradually got him off of the oxygenand he seemed to be getting better. He had a lung infection which was apparently brought on by H1N1.

She wrote about juggling trying to visit her very sick husband and taking care of her kids. She wrote everyday about what she was going through and how her husband was.

Her husband ended up dying.

My heart breaks for her. She has continued blogging since he died in October. I spent quite a bit of time reading her blog last night. It has really made me think. This woman is about my age. She is a SAHM like me. I have been married for 11 years. She has four kids around the age of mine. It was VERY easy to feel her pain and grieve. Her and her husband were going about their normal life and all of a sudden it was turned upside down.

I have a WONDERFUL husband. He works hard to provide for our family. Before we had kids we had decided that when we had kids I would stay home with them and raise them. We, together, worked hard and sacrificed a lot to do this and I would not have traded it for the world. This IS what I have always wanted to be....a MOM!

But, what would happen if anything ever happened to my precious husband? How would I cope with losing the love of my life and trying to get five kids through that loss while also doing our day to day "chores". This woman is struggling with her own anger, grief, guilt and trying to trudge through her emotions of losing her husband. Would I be able to get out of bed?

Through all of this, she also has to figure out how to provide for her children. She has been a SAHM and her source of income just disappeared. He had life insurance, as does my hubby, but is that enough?

She wrote a letter to her husband on the one month date of his death. It was so heart-breaking to read. Would I be able to make it a month without my best friend? We have been together for 14 years. That is almost half of my life! How would I manage if just-like-that he was gone? She sleeps hugging her husbands pillow and wearing his tshirt or having it under her pillow. Would that be enough?

I am praying for both families for their loss. I also pray that I never have to experience what they are experiencing. I want to believe I would find the strength, just like she is, to carry on and try to make life "normal" (whatever that is after such a tragedy) for my children, but could I?

When you hear things like this, it really makes you appreciate what you have. Not WHAT you have, but WHO you have and the time you have with them. Because in a split second they could be gone forever!