Evil

This morning, like so many other parents, I had the task of getting my kids to school. I have done this task so many times, for so many years. I would like to say I have never thought twice about it, but I have more times than I can count. But, honestly, sending my kindergartener to school I have never had the worry "What if someone comes in and starts shooting at these innocent babies?"

Friday, as I sat paralyzed, listening to the horrible information coming across the television and praying it was all a big mistake, I seriously thought about pulling my kids from school - for good. Who could do this to BABIES? What young adult could walk in to an elementary school and open fire on the teachers and principals and administrators that these kids see and look up to, MUCH LESS while the kids are in school. The fact that he also searched out children to do this to is just incomprehensible.

I did not pull my kids from school. Instead I pray! I pray for protection for my children. I pray for the world we live in. Who is to say if I did pull them out, the very next day someone doesn't break in to my house and do the exact same thing when I have them home and "safe?"

I can only do so much to protect my children. Anything can happen anywhere we are. I can not put them in a bubble (as much as I desperately want to). There is evil all around us. There are some things you can not prevent or predict. There are some people who seem nice and "normal" but people are very good at wearing mask and appearing to be something they are not.

All I can do is pray that they always have God's protection around them. I pray they have angels walking on both sides, in front, behind, above and below them. That HAS to be enough for me. Because if I don't have faith that God do what He has planned for them I would go crazy. I would be consumed with worry and fear all the time. I would be paralyzed. And, then I would teach my children to live the same way.

We ask why. We watch in search of answers. But, does it matter what they say? If they gave some "excuse" as to why he did this, what was going through his head, would it EVER make sense to us? Would it ever excuse the choices he made Friday morning?

There have been so many mass shootings. They are all horrible. They are all unfair and unexplainable. This one just seems so impossible. These kids don't even understand or get the evils of the world yet. They were all so innocent and unknowing. They have seen things that NO ONE should ever see. Their views of the world are forever changed and they have been forced to grow up way beyond their years. We protect our young children from stories like this, never thinking that we will become the story.

Today, as my children walked away from me to go to school they seemed smaller and more fragile than they have ever seemed to me.

My prayers go out to the grieving families, including the family of the gunmen, the people who go to work everyday to protect us and keep us well and had to see this horrible scene, etc. But, most of all, my prayers are with the survivors who saw things that no one should ever see, heard things that no one should ever hear and have to live with those sights and sounds of their teachers and friends for the rest of their life.


The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed. Psalm 34:18

Exodus 14:14 - The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still!