Thursday, June 12, 2008

Hard Move

Caleb is starting to struggle with the move. I said something this morning about him making new friends. He started crying and said he didn't want new friends. I asked why. He said that he would never find friends like what he had. I explained that we can still have friends, even in a different state, and that it is okay to have new friends too. It doesn't mean that he is no longer friends with friends there, just MORE friends.

I think he is excited, too, though. Last weekend when we were house-hunting, we ran across his school. He was very excited about it. He was excited that his brothers won't be at the same school (that is a whole different post). Maybe that is part of the problem. Maybe he feels like if he is excited about what is to come he is failing the friends he has. We have discussed that too.

He has become even more bossy than normal lately. I think this has become his way of coping with his hurt and anger.

This move has definently been much harder on everyone than our previous move. We had never been anywhere but Texas before we went to Arkansas. When they closed the office Paul was at in Texas, we knew we would be going out of state...somewhere. We just had no idea where. We followed where we felt the Lord was telling us to go and could not have ended up in a better place. We loved the area we lived in, we had a great church, GREAT friends, the fact that every weekend we could explore somewhere new, our house, etc.

None of us expected this job offer or the acceptance of the job offer. We have spent seven months so back and forth on this decision. The fact that Daddy would be home with us and have very minimal travel was what made the decision hard. If that had not been in the offer, we would not have considered moving. Do we completely pick up the family and move them to another state? After going over the pros and cons over and over and over the only thing that kept standing out was the fact that Daddy would be home. After seven years of traveling very often, he would be home with us. That is the most important thing. What is the point in his busting his butt for his family if he was never with his family? The trade off was just too high of a price.

I am very glad he had the oppurtunities he had through the company he worked for in Texas and Arkansas. He learned so much, he worked with good people, he got to see a lot, it actually strengthened our marriage, but it is time for him to be back with us. I have no doubts we WERE where we were supposed to be and doing what we were supposed to be doing. I also have no doubts that we ARE where we are supposed to be and doing what we are supposed to be doing now. As hard as it is to just pick up and leave everyone and everything, family is the number one priority and should ALWAYS come first.

I have to remind myself that frequently. The stress of trying to sell a house (especially from another state) and not knowing when and if it is going to sell (especially when there are six houses on your street for sale, two of which are right across the street from ours...one in foreclosure and one whose owner is also a realtor doing daily open houses) is very difficult. Especially when you are sitting in a house surrounded by boxes that serve as a constant reminder that this is not your home. It has been difficult for us to get too excited about looking at houses here. We don't want to find "THE" house and it be gone when our house sells. Now we think we have found "THE" house....we will see what happens!

I get Purpose Driven Life devotionals sent to my email. I got one the other day that I had to print out. It was called Resisting Discouragment. It could not have come at a better time. I consider patience to be one of my biggest downfalls. This devotional was talking about how God tries us often, not so HE can see how patient we are, but so WE can see how patient we are. Also, to show us that he is faithful, even if we don't get answers immdeiately.

We will get through this. No matter what happens, we will get through it and we will be stronger.

I am glad that Caleb is getting to go to church camp with his friends from Arkansas. That will show him that even when he leaves for a while, his friends are still his friends. Just another life-lesson! :(

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