Scariest Experience of my Life

My "death phobia" is dying from some form of suffocation. I have never felt like I was suffocating or truly having a hard time breathing, so I don't know why in my mind this is the worst way to go, but that is what I have always thought.

I have been sick for three weeks. I had cold/flu-like symptoms earlier in December for about a week. I didn't go to the dr because a) I don't typically go to the dr unless I am really sick (which I don't usually get sick very often...this is only the second time since we moved to LA that I have been sick) and b) they don't normally do a whole lot with those symptoms unless they are caught early on. After about a week I seemed to get better except for the lingering cough, which always takes a little longer to get over.

Last week, for about five days, Mads was sick. She was having fevers, snotty nose and coughing. After two days of fever and a night of us being up ALL night, we took her to her dr. She had a virus, nothing we could do but wait it out. Wednesday I started feeling bad again. This time it felt more like allergies....runny nose, runny eyes and the cough got a lot worse.

Yesterday morning I decided to go to the dr and see what they could do. It was an After-hours clinic with HORRIBLE service, but I was diagnosed with acute bronchitis and acute sinusitis. I was given a (very rudely done) shot of cortizone and a prescription for a cough syrup with codeine and an antibiotic. Although I am supposed to take the cough syrup 4 times a day, I can only take it at night because I will pass out from it.

Last night I had been sitting in bed talking on the phone. I got up when I was done and walked to the refrigerator. All of a sudden my airway completely closed up. I could not breath AT. ALL. I am trying to gasp for air and coughing and begin to panic. Paul comes running in when he realized it was more than a coughing spell, but I could not speak to tell him what was wrong. He was saying "I don't know what to do for you" I finally got out "INHALER" and he ran and got Bryce's quick acting inhaler. I could barely take a puff of it, but I got enough that it opened my airway to where I could get a couple of breaths of air, then it would close up again. I ended up taking four puffs of the inhaler (which is probably more than I should have take, but I felt like it was LITERALLY a matter of life or death).

Poor Paul was trying everything to help his freaked out wife! When I got to where I was able to gasp for breaths he gave me my cough syrup and was trying to get me to calm down and take short breaths. He was telling me to breath through my nose....which was not functioning! I was shaking and my leg had some uncontrollable restless leg syndrome (which was probably from all the inhaler I took which causes jitteriness). I was burning up and feeling like I was going to pass out. I got some frozen peas on my forehead which seemed to help.

I finally got some what calmed down, but it took over an hour to get my breathing back to how it should be and I could barely talk. Paul had looked up online what to do and one of the things it said was breathing in steam. He boiled some water and brought it to me, but it made it worse. Our pharmacist is a good friend of mine and he called her to make sure we were doing everything correctly because there was some medicine mixing going on! Basically, she said he had done everything right and if I had anymore issues I needed to see my physician.

In the end, my head was killing me, as was my chest and stomach. Once I started calming down I got better a lot quicker. It was hard watching my husband feel helpless, yet trying everything he could think to do to help me. The hardest part, though, was that the kids saw a lot, especially at the beginning when it first happened. Mady was glued to me, just staring in deep concern, but never crying. She kept coming up and patting my back and leg and saying "Mommy". Andrew came in and asked if I was sick and if I was going to be okay. The older boys were all asking if I was going to be okay. I was trying to tell them I was okay, but when I am gasping in the middle of short words, I don't know how believable I was. Paul got them all to their rooms as soon as I was able to breath a little and after I had calmed down I made rounds to everyone to let them know I was okay. Andrew woke up this morning asking a LOT of questions!

I was expecting to take my cough meds and be out early on New Years Eve, but the inhaler seemed to null out the codeine and I was just wide awake and shaky. I slept sitting up all night and I am very sore this morning, but I am thankful that I am here for the New Year (and at home). This was the scariest experience of my life and I hope to NEVER relive it. On the upside, I now have an inkling of what my son would go through when he would have his asthma attacks!