She says "Instead of staving off the pressure on girls to judge themselves by how they look, and to become too sexy too soon, I think it pushes them toward it." She also says "The Cinderella-Belle phase feeds into the Miley Cyrus-Hannah Montana juggernaut-then Miley goes from wearing a promise ring to wearing a bustier and dancing in a cage."
Here is my problem with this thinking. First off, my daughter will not sit down and watch a full 30 minute toddler show, so, she has not seen any of the "Princess" movies. She still likes to pick out her own clothes and likes to wear tutu's and pink and jewelry. If she has been influenced by someone to want to wear these things it would be MY influence, not the movies. I buy her clothes and I DO buy a lot of pink (and after four boys would you expect anything different, especially since I LOVE the color pink). She has a ballerina room, and has tutus all over it. I don't think that is pushing her to dress sexy. If it is pushing her to something it would probably be ballet!
Secondly, how does my daughter wanting to be ultra girly mean that she is going to turn in to a girl that is going to dress "too sexy too soon"? It is not the small child's imagination that leads to this. It IS partially what they see as they get older, but why are the parents allowing their daughter to dress like this? Miley Cyrus was at an age where her parents should have not allowed her to dress the way she did. Just because Miley Cyrus is allowed, doesn't mean that I have to allow my child to dress like that.
My son likes to act like he is a superhero. Does that mean he is going to grow up to be a Chip and Dale dancer? Is he going to dress in tights all of his life and give lap dances because I let him make believe that he is a superhero? He likes to shoot things, even if he doesn't have a gun in his hand. Does that mean he will be a murderer?
How about we put the blame where the blame should be. If parents are going to allow their children to dress too sexy for their age, then it is the PARENTS fault for their child dressing this way. Yes, it is hard when the media is constantly saying you should be stick thin and dress like this and look like that. And, yes kids will be kids and try to sneak out in what they want to wear, what their friends are wearing. Even if you don't allow certain pieces of clothing into your house (like the super short skirt or the low cut shirt) they can still get their hands on them when you are not around. This is not a new problem. What happened to parents teaching self-confidence and that you don't have to look a certain way. Why can't parents sit down with their children (male or female) and watch things with them and then discuss why it is important to be happy with who you are regardless of what you look like or what other people say about you.
Why can't we let our children's imaginations soar? We are so worried of what they MIGHT do when they are older. Teens being rebellious is nothing new. Kids are going to try to test their limits and see what they can get away with. They start that EARLY on! That is why my one year old will stare at me when she goes to do something she KNOWS she is not supposed to do! This is how they learn. I don't think that stifling their imagination is going to change who they become, as long as we, as parents, teach them the difference between real and make-belief. I don't recall Cinderella or Belle, or any of the other princesses that little girls look up to wearing inappropriate clothing or lingerie.
Yes, there are parents out there that go over the top. Like these pageant shows for little girls. Where they are wearing "flippers" (pieces they put over their spaced out teeth that make them have a perfect smile) and tons of makeup and wigs. Some of them even wear inappropriate costumes. THIS is where I see children growing up with pressure to judge themselves (and be judged) on how they look. They are also a completely different person on the outside during the pageants. Their looks are usually COMPLETELY transformed! Is this teaching them that they are not pretty enough the way they are naturally, so we have to make them look like a different person for the stage?
In my opinion it all comes down to how they are raised and what the parents let them learn, believe and get away with. I will allow my daughter to watch Princess movies if she wants to. I will let my daughter wear pink everyday if she chooses. She can wear her tutus and her jewelry and her dress-up clothes. She can carry her purse wherever she wants.
(an exclusive from the Mady collection)But, I will do my best to teach her to love herself for who she is. I will teach her that it is okay to have what others might see as flaws. I will try to give her what she needs to have a healthy self-esteem and self-confidence. I will tell her everyday that she is beautiful and loved. I will do my best to teach her to have a good attitude and to be friendly and forgiving. I will teach her that she is a daughter of the King (aka a Princess) and that she should portray that in how she acts and dresses. I will do my best to teach her to become a Godly woman, wife and mother.
Most of all, I will continue to call her my Princess. It is a term of endearment. That doesn't mean she will always get everything she wants. She will not always get her way. She will not grow up thinking she is "entitled" because we call her Princess. She will grow up with the same rules and expectations that her brothers will grow up with.
After all, nicknames don't make an attitude.
1 comment:
Love the outfit!
And I agree....everything in moderation, but no, I don't think we are ruining our princessess by calling them or dressing them as such. Silliness.
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