Smelling the Roses

The beginning of July I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease. I wasn't feeling great before I went to the dr and had all the test run, but after I went I felt even worse. Over the last couple of months we have tried MANY different mixes of medicines, different doses of medicines, diet changes, etc. Seemed like nothing was working. I was (and am) on high doses of steroids, which, I think the side effects of are worse than the disease often times, but unfortunately it is not a medicine I can just stop taking. We are working on tapering me off of it VERY slowly.

On top of that, I am anemic. The last thing a mother of five kids needs is to be anemic. My energy level isn't near theirs on a good, healthy day!

The last few months have been rough here. There have been days I could not get out of bed. There are days that I made it out of bed, but only as far as the couch. My awesome husband did a great job of taking care of me.....and the kids, and the house (inside and outside), and cooking, and his job. My wonderful children made me get well cards and continuously came and checked up on me (and still frequently ask me if I am feeling okay). I am extremely blessed with the man the Lord chose for me and the children He gave to us.

At the moment, we have gotten the disease under control. But, it will always be a day by day thing. You never know when it will flare up and how bad it will be.

I say all of that to tell of a lesson this has taught me. The couple of months that I was down and out, I have felt like a failure. It is hard not to get discouraged when you feel so horrible physically and can not correct what is causing you to feel that way. Add on top of that that the kids do not all understand why I can't get out of bed or don't have the energy to go anywhere or do anything. I felt like I was neglecting the kids needs and they were not getting the attention they deserved.

When Mady sees a flower (even a weed) she runs to it and gently grabs it and smells it. She can linger at that single flower, no matter how small or insignificant it looks, for what feels to me like forever. She wants to take in every last scent she can from that single flower. And, if there are 100 flowers that look just like the first, she wants to enjoy the smell of each and every one of them.



This disease and my children are teaching me to slow down and smell the roses. I felt like I was missing out on so much with them when I was not feeling well. I did NOT like it! My kids are growing so quickly and I don't want to miss ANYTHING!



It is hard with so many people doing their own thing to remember to slow down and enjoy it. It is not something that I have not known, just something that I sometimes forget to do and need little reminders. Every time I see Mady smelling the sweet fragrance of a flower I am reminded that I need to slow down for ALL of my kids and enjoy them being kids. These moments are so limited by time. Before I know it they are going to be moving out and I don't want to have any regrets when it is too late to do something about it.



So, next time Mady runs to smell a flower, I think I will run with her and smell it with her. And while I am smelling it, I will say a little prayer of thanks for God for all the blessings in my life and remind myself to slow down and smell the roses!