New Year's Resolution - In One Word

For the last couple of years I have been doing a one word resolution. To me it makes more sense than making a list just for the sake of being able to say I have resolutions. One word that sums up what I want for the new year. No list to get lost in. No unattainable goals. One thing that I want to focus on for the next year.

My word for this year is HEALING.

There is the obvious, physical healing. The past year has found me in the worst health I have ever been in and it has seemed never-ending. After months of different treatments and lots of blood being taken, it seems we finally got the major health issues under control, but it is still being closely monitored. The possibility of me having problems from it at any moment always lingers in the back of my head. And, with each time the problem reoccurs it could get harder and harder to treat. There are also side effects to the illness and the meds that I have to learn to live with.

Shortly after getting that under control, I injured my knee. Three months later and I am still in a knee brace and still not 100% sure exactly what is injured. I am to the point where I would prefer to have surgery and move on with my life!

I have already been sick several times this season. Due to the immunosuppresant drugs I am on this is something I will probably just have to get used to.


Then there is emotional healing. There are relationships in my life that need healing. There have been things that have happened that have not been addressed. I simply have been stubborn and let my hurt feelings get the best of me. In reality, maybe it is completely unknown to the other person that they upset me. We don't all see things (or hear things) the same. Maybe I am assuming that they know what they did (or do) and did (do)it on purpose. But, even in the case where someone KNOWS what they did was wrong and hurtful, but refuses to apologize, that is not on me. I still need to forgive and move on.

Then there is spiritual healing. I need to work on myself to become more like Jesus. I need to be more forgiving, less hypocritical, less judgemental, more PATIENT. I need to be a role model for not only my children, but those around me (I should probably delete the "do as I say not as I do" attitude). I need to rely on God more and myself less! When I give Him something that is too big for me, I need to remember I gave it to Him because it was too big for me, and NOT take it back from Him!

I know my problems PALE in comparison to what so many are going through in their lives. I have an AWESOME husband that loves me unconditionally. He tells me, he shows me and I truly believe he would do anything to make me happy. He works extra hard to provide for his family, even when he doesn't want to. I don't know how I ended up with him, but I thank God daily. We have five beautiful and healthy children. I am proud of them all. The continuously challenge me and teach me. I am blessed to stay home and be here for my family. We have a roof over our head, food for our mouth, clothes for our body, vehicles to get us where we need to be. We may not have an abundance of money, but we have what matters the most, and He has always provided for us.

This year I want to focus on healing every aspect of my life that needs healing so that I can be a better wife, mother and friend. I want to focus on the good in my life, because there is SO much good in my life! I want to clean out all of the negatives that clutter me.