The other day I had the radio on while I was cleaning house and playing with the kids. I was only half way listening to the music, but in between songs I caught the DJ talking about how she was at the grocery store with her three young children. They were all tired and cranky and hungry. An older lady walked up gushing over the kids and said to enjoy the time she had with her kids because before you know it they are grown up and don't need you anymore.
I hear this a lot. And, sometimes I feel like I am a bad person or something is wrong with me because, honestly, sometimes I just can't imagine that these people that are saying this truly enjoyed every second of parenting. Either that, or I have done a horrible job raising my kids.
Yesterday, I had a woman stop me at the big box store. I had Mady in the buggy, trying to hold EVERYTHING that is put in the buggy at once so her brother could not touch anything. She would whine every time something fell out of her way-over-full arms. Meanwhile, Andrew is throwing things we do not need in the buggy. When this woman stopped me, I had told Andrew to pick ONE box of pop-tarts and he was telling me that he needs two boxes and he was going to get two boxes. We were back and fourth, one box, no two, okay zero boxes, etc. She said the most honest thing anybody has ever stopped and told me.
"It is hard, but when they have grandchildren it is both your reward and your revenge!"
I smiled at her and said "Thank you and I can't wait for that day!" She just smiled and continued on. I will never forget this comment and on some days it may be my motto.
As this DJ (who apparently read the same article that a FB friend just sent me the link to) said, I don't think it is the act of parenting that they love as much as the act of HAVING parented.
It is easy to forget the hard stuff when you are not in the midst of the hard stuff. It HAS to be. If we didn't forget the hard stuff we would NEVER have more than one child. Parenting, like giving birth, HURTS! I did not love giving birth to five kids, but I love that I GAVE birth to them.
The love and the good times far outweigh the bad.
I am not saying that I want to rush through every day with my kids. But, some days I do. Some days I am merely surviving. I don't think it matters if you have one kid or 10 kids, I think if we are all honest, every mother has these moments. The moments where you daydream about getting to sleep through the night, go on dates, being spontaneous, traveling, etc. Doing all these things without the monumental planning process that goes in to every move you make. Even for me to go to the bathroom these days, if I want to go alone I have to plan distracting the kids or watching for them to distract themselves and sneaking off.
I would love to skip the hard things. My children's hearts being broken. Discipling (contrary to my children's believes, it really is not fun), phone calls from school, bullies, fights (between siblings, parents/kids, other kids). The hard decisions that effect the kids and family. These are all things I could live without. But, these are the things that make us ALL who we are!
I do want to enjoy the times my kids are home. I won't enjoy EVERY minute, though. I know they are growing way too fast. I agree that when they are grown I will miss the time we are in now. I have daily reminders of that since I have such a wide age-range of children. It is easier to see where I have been with the first one when I have another one going through it. It is also easier to see how fast they are growing up.
But, I will love when they are "parented" and on their own too. And, I will REALLY love them when they have their own babies and truly get what it is to be a parent!
Friday, January 20, 2012
Friday, January 13, 2012
The First "Date"??
Not really sure what happened tonight, it is all a blur.
Night before last Mady was up ALL night throwing up. That means I was up all night attempting to catch throw up and clean her up. Needless to say yesterday I got nothing done. Today we were out all day trying to get Paul what he needs for his trip to Toronto.
While we were out we found out that the company Paul is working for is possibly being bought out. Let's just say it is something we are stressing about!
So tonight, we are feeding the masses (known as our children) and the doorbell rings. Let's back-track a bit. Sunday Caleb said something about going out with his girlfriend and another "couple" this weekend. I told him we would have to talk about it. That was the last we heard about it. He is 13. Not really ready for him to "date!" Not to mention there had been a string of completely irresponsible actions on his part AND the fact he was told earlier today he was grounded for the weekend.
So, tonight the door bell rings. Paul answers it and there are two giggly girls asking if Caleb was home. We have not met Caleb's girlfriend. Caleb goes outside for a few minutes and comes back in and ask if he can go to the movies with his girlfriend. He said he told her we had said no.
Paul and I just looked at each other. We were put on the spot. We went out to meet his girlfriend and her mother. The plan was that her mother was taking them to a movie and staying and another two kids were going.
This is where the evening got awkward and embarrassing. Everything in us was saying we should make him stay home. However, we felt bad that her Mom had driven over with the understanding that he was going and the lack of communication. I commented that we had no cash on us because we did not know this was happening. She said she would pay.
I look over at Caleb, with his goofy, innocent grin, and ask if he was planning on wearing his school uniform. He says "Do I have too?" and continues standing there. I told him they were needing to go (still had someone else to pick up and had to get to the movies) and if he was planning on changing he needed to get busy.
Well, it is cold outside. I couldn't make everyone stand outside while he changed so I had to invite them in. Remember at the beginning of the post I said Mady had been sick and then we were gone all day today. Needless to say, my house is a DI.SASSSSSSS.TERRRRRRRRRR! I have not done much the last two days. Clothes folded in piles all over the couch and coffee table. The kids toys everywhere. We were in the middle of feeding kids, so the kitchen was destroyed. Can we say embarrassing?
As a friend so sensitively put it: I have a dirty house, no money and no idea what my kid is up to! Love how she can put things in perspective for me and make me NOT feel better about the situation!!
Hindsight is 20/20. My son is on his first date - he is not supposed to be. Besides that - this is why boyfriends moms get bad raps! OR - maybe this is why girlfriends get bad raps. Depends on what story you believe and what perspective you take. Did Caleb really tell her we said no and she thought if she showed up and put us on the spot we would let him go? (Okay, yes it worked). Or, was Caleb irresponsible and did not tell her we said no. He genuinely seemed surprised she was there (even if he wanted it to play out that way - we probably would have thought nothing of him changing out of his uniform and he is ALWAYS in front of the mirror).
This is what I know.
I hope Caleb enjoys his first date. It was nothing like I envisioned. There was not prep. There are no pictures. There IS a funny (though irritating) story.
I hope he enjoyed it. It might very well be his LAST date for a long time.
He might think he won. I am going to let him have that this evening. Because tomorrow he will know that he most certainly did NOT win. Tomorrow is when reality hits.......
UPDATE LATER SAME EVENING: As I pace the house waiting on my son to return from his first night out with a girl (yes I like the way that sounds better than the "date" word), with a 20 dollar bill in my hand, it occurs to me that there is something horribly wrong with the fact that I am waiting to PAY for my son after he has been out with a girl.
Just sayin'!!!
Night before last Mady was up ALL night throwing up. That means I was up all night attempting to catch throw up and clean her up. Needless to say yesterday I got nothing done. Today we were out all day trying to get Paul what he needs for his trip to Toronto.
While we were out we found out that the company Paul is working for is possibly being bought out. Let's just say it is something we are stressing about!
So tonight, we are feeding the masses (known as our children) and the doorbell rings. Let's back-track a bit. Sunday Caleb said something about going out with his girlfriend and another "couple" this weekend. I told him we would have to talk about it. That was the last we heard about it. He is 13. Not really ready for him to "date!" Not to mention there had been a string of completely irresponsible actions on his part AND the fact he was told earlier today he was grounded for the weekend.
So, tonight the door bell rings. Paul answers it and there are two giggly girls asking if Caleb was home. We have not met Caleb's girlfriend. Caleb goes outside for a few minutes and comes back in and ask if he can go to the movies with his girlfriend. He said he told her we had said no.
Paul and I just looked at each other. We were put on the spot. We went out to meet his girlfriend and her mother. The plan was that her mother was taking them to a movie and staying and another two kids were going.
This is where the evening got awkward and embarrassing. Everything in us was saying we should make him stay home. However, we felt bad that her Mom had driven over with the understanding that he was going and the lack of communication. I commented that we had no cash on us because we did not know this was happening. She said she would pay.
I look over at Caleb, with his goofy, innocent grin, and ask if he was planning on wearing his school uniform. He says "Do I have too?" and continues standing there. I told him they were needing to go (still had someone else to pick up and had to get to the movies) and if he was planning on changing he needed to get busy.
Well, it is cold outside. I couldn't make everyone stand outside while he changed so I had to invite them in. Remember at the beginning of the post I said Mady had been sick and then we were gone all day today. Needless to say, my house is a DI.SASSSSSSS.TERRRRRRRRRR! I have not done much the last two days. Clothes folded in piles all over the couch and coffee table. The kids toys everywhere. We were in the middle of feeding kids, so the kitchen was destroyed. Can we say embarrassing?
As a friend so sensitively put it: I have a dirty house, no money and no idea what my kid is up to! Love how she can put things in perspective for me and make me NOT feel better about the situation!!
Hindsight is 20/20. My son is on his first date - he is not supposed to be. Besides that - this is why boyfriends moms get bad raps! OR - maybe this is why girlfriends get bad raps. Depends on what story you believe and what perspective you take. Did Caleb really tell her we said no and she thought if she showed up and put us on the spot we would let him go? (Okay, yes it worked). Or, was Caleb irresponsible and did not tell her we said no. He genuinely seemed surprised she was there (even if he wanted it to play out that way - we probably would have thought nothing of him changing out of his uniform and he is ALWAYS in front of the mirror).
This is what I know.
I hope Caleb enjoys his first date. It was nothing like I envisioned. There was not prep. There are no pictures. There IS a funny (though irritating) story.
I hope he enjoyed it. It might very well be his LAST date for a long time.
He might think he won. I am going to let him have that this evening. Because tomorrow he will know that he most certainly did NOT win. Tomorrow is when reality hits.......
UPDATE LATER SAME EVENING: As I pace the house waiting on my son to return from his first night out with a girl (yes I like the way that sounds better than the "date" word), with a 20 dollar bill in my hand, it occurs to me that there is something horribly wrong with the fact that I am waiting to PAY for my son after he has been out with a girl.
Just sayin'!!!
Saturday, January 07, 2012
The Encounter
This morning Paul decided we needed to take a road trip. He decided he wanted to go check out a national forest in Mississippi. He is always looking for places to go kayaking.
We had a map with road names, however, out in Nowhereville, Mississippi the roads don't have signs to match those names with. We ended up on the road we started, but not where the directions had us going. It was still on the way, just a slight detour.
Shortly after getting on the road we were not supposed to be on, we were looking at the map figuring out the easiest way to get where we were trying to go. I heard Paul say "MAN!" and looked up just as a police man came over a hill in the opposite direction and turned on his lights.
Paul pulled over before the officer even passed us to turn around and come after us.
As he walked up to the car the yapper dog starts barking at him and made him flinch. That is how the encounter began!
He immediately pulled a gun on us and said "what are you doing in these parts wearing THAT (referring to the LSU hat). If you don't give me a REALLY good reason, I am going to shoot."
Paul took off as fast as he could. He was shooting at us the whole time.
We finally outran him and made it to the forest. After driving around for a while we saw a dog being attacked by a wolf. The poor dog had a collar on. We saved the poor dog from a certain death and killed the wolf with our bare hands.
Then,
Okay, so our trip was not THAT adventurous!
So, he walked up and the dog started barking at him.
"License please." he said. "I was going to forgive you going 95....."
"But you saw the Louisiana plates?" Paul asked.
"Well and then the hat. There is really no reason for forgiveness!" the officer said.
"We were looking at the map trying to figure out how to get where we are going....." Paul began to explain.
"Don't look at the map. You have a wife there who knows exactly where you are going. And, I bet this nice vehicle has cruise control."
He then asked where we were going and gave us directions (what do ya know - I DID know where we were going). He also told us to slow down because there were four new rookies who would DEFINITELY give us a ticket.
As he reached his vehicle he turns back around and yells "AND GET A NEW HAT WHILE YOU ARE AT IT!"
Glad we got an officer with a sense of humor and forgiving nature!
Oh, and by the way, Paul was NOT going 95 or anywhere near it!
There was a dog in the forest that was running around with a collar on and no people around. We happened to have dog treats and got the dog to come to us. We called the owner and he came and got him.
Wasn't the initial story much better (no, I don't really want to live ANY of those adventures).
We had a map with road names, however, out in Nowhereville, Mississippi the roads don't have signs to match those names with. We ended up on the road we started, but not where the directions had us going. It was still on the way, just a slight detour.
Shortly after getting on the road we were not supposed to be on, we were looking at the map figuring out the easiest way to get where we were trying to go. I heard Paul say "MAN!" and looked up just as a police man came over a hill in the opposite direction and turned on his lights.
Paul pulled over before the officer even passed us to turn around and come after us.
As he walked up to the car the yapper dog starts barking at him and made him flinch. That is how the encounter began!
He immediately pulled a gun on us and said "what are you doing in these parts wearing THAT (referring to the LSU hat). If you don't give me a REALLY good reason, I am going to shoot."
Paul took off as fast as he could. He was shooting at us the whole time.
We finally outran him and made it to the forest. After driving around for a while we saw a dog being attacked by a wolf. The poor dog had a collar on. We saved the poor dog from a certain death and killed the wolf with our bare hands.
Then,
Okay, so our trip was not THAT adventurous!
So, he walked up and the dog started barking at him.
"License please." he said. "I was going to forgive you going 95....."
"But you saw the Louisiana plates?" Paul asked.
"Well and then the hat. There is really no reason for forgiveness!" the officer said.
"We were looking at the map trying to figure out how to get where we are going....." Paul began to explain.
"Don't look at the map. You have a wife there who knows exactly where you are going. And, I bet this nice vehicle has cruise control."
He then asked where we were going and gave us directions (what do ya know - I DID know where we were going). He also told us to slow down because there were four new rookies who would DEFINITELY give us a ticket.
As he reached his vehicle he turns back around and yells "AND GET A NEW HAT WHILE YOU ARE AT IT!"
Glad we got an officer with a sense of humor and forgiving nature!
Oh, and by the way, Paul was NOT going 95 or anywhere near it!
There was a dog in the forest that was running around with a collar on and no people around. We happened to have dog treats and got the dog to come to us. We called the owner and he came and got him.
Wasn't the initial story much better (no, I don't really want to live ANY of those adventures).
Thursday, January 05, 2012
Her First Date
Mady got up this morning at 5:30 and was in a horrible mood. She would not give, or let Daddy give her, a kiss, hug, say goodbye or even look at him.
This morning after a bubble bath she kept saying she needed to talk to Daddy, but would not tell me why. I finally gave up and called him and gave the phone to Mady.
"Daddy, you come home now and play dollhouse?"
Fast forward to about time to start dinner and she comes in and asked if she could have a "Daddy and Mady" dinner at Wal Mart. She has never asked for or had a "Daddy and Mady" dinner. I told her she could help me cook.
Helping me cook turned in to her and Daddy eating alone in the dining room. She requested that we get out the "special" dishes. She insisted on a pink teapot for their tea to be poured from. She told me she wanted brownies and ice cream for their dessert (good thing we had that!).
Then she needed to wear a dress. Oh, and don't forget to do my hair. And earrings. And a necklace and bracelet. "Mommy I need my makeup too!"
Mady does not fool around when it comes to food. You don't put her plate on the table unless you are ready for her to start shoveling food in her mouth. Daddy didn't know he had a date tonight. He was late - a good bit late! Mady watched her brothers eat, but she would not eat until Daddy got home.
When he got home, she went shy! She gave him a silly grin and hid behind me. Once they sat down and started eating she was better. I have had Pan dora on all afternoon. At one point while they were eating she leaned over to Daddy and said "Do you like this song?"
She would not allow Daddy to pour the drinks or get more food. "Mommy do it" was what she would say (yeah, thanks Mads!). When he did leave for a second, she went in the kitchen and got him and told him to go back and sit down.
After dinner and dessert she had to change clothes. She needed pajamas and Daddy needed to change out of work clothes and then go play dollhouse with his date!
This will be the only kind of date she will have for a VERY long time (ever if Daddy has his way). My heart melted into puddles as I sat in the kitchen listening to them in the dining room. I could sit here and listen to the giggles coming from that room ALL. NIGHT. LONG! I am truly VERY blessed!
notice how she grabs his ears to pull him in for a kiss (hehehe)
This morning after a bubble bath she kept saying she needed to talk to Daddy, but would not tell me why. I finally gave up and called him and gave the phone to Mady.
"Daddy, you come home now and play dollhouse?"
Fast forward to about time to start dinner and she comes in and asked if she could have a "Daddy and Mady" dinner at Wal Mart. She has never asked for or had a "Daddy and Mady" dinner. I told her she could help me cook.
Helping me cook turned in to her and Daddy eating alone in the dining room. She requested that we get out the "special" dishes. She insisted on a pink teapot for their tea to be poured from. She told me she wanted brownies and ice cream for their dessert (good thing we had that!).
Then she needed to wear a dress. Oh, and don't forget to do my hair. And earrings. And a necklace and bracelet. "Mommy I need my makeup too!"
Mady does not fool around when it comes to food. You don't put her plate on the table unless you are ready for her to start shoveling food in her mouth. Daddy didn't know he had a date tonight. He was late - a good bit late! Mady watched her brothers eat, but she would not eat until Daddy got home.
When he got home, she went shy! She gave him a silly grin and hid behind me. Once they sat down and started eating she was better. I have had Pan dora on all afternoon. At one point while they were eating she leaned over to Daddy and said "Do you like this song?"
She would not allow Daddy to pour the drinks or get more food. "Mommy do it" was what she would say (yeah, thanks Mads!). When he did leave for a second, she went in the kitchen and got him and told him to go back and sit down.
After dinner and dessert she had to change clothes. She needed pajamas and Daddy needed to change out of work clothes and then go play dollhouse with his date!
This will be the only kind of date she will have for a VERY long time (ever if Daddy has his way). My heart melted into puddles as I sat in the kitchen listening to them in the dining room. I could sit here and listen to the giggles coming from that room ALL. NIGHT. LONG! I am truly VERY blessed!
Wednesday, January 04, 2012
Sunday, January 01, 2012
New Year's Resolution - In One Word
For the last couple of years I have been doing a one word resolution. To me it makes more sense than making a list just for the sake of being able to say I have resolutions. One word that sums up what I want for the new year. No list to get lost in. No unattainable goals. One thing that I want to focus on for the next year.
My word for this year is HEALING.
There is the obvious, physical healing. The past year has found me in the worst health I have ever been in and it has seemed never-ending. After months of different treatments and lots of blood being taken, it seems we finally got the major health issues under control, but it is still being closely monitored. The possibility of me having problems from it at any moment always lingers in the back of my head. And, with each time the problem reoccurs it could get harder and harder to treat. There are also side effects to the illness and the meds that I have to learn to live with.
Shortly after getting that under control, I injured my knee. Three months later and I am still in a knee brace and still not 100% sure exactly what is injured. I am to the point where I would prefer to have surgery and move on with my life!
I have already been sick several times this season. Due to the immunosuppresant drugs I am on this is something I will probably just have to get used to.
Then there is emotional healing. There are relationships in my life that need healing. There have been things that have happened that have not been addressed. I simply have been stubborn and let my hurt feelings get the best of me. In reality, maybe it is completely unknown to the other person that they upset me. We don't all see things (or hear things) the same. Maybe I am assuming that they know what they did (or do) and did (do)it on purpose. But, even in the case where someone KNOWS what they did was wrong and hurtful, but refuses to apologize, that is not on me. I still need to forgive and move on.
Then there is spiritual healing. I need to work on myself to become more like Jesus. I need to be more forgiving, less hypocritical, less judgemental, more PATIENT. I need to be a role model for not only my children, but those around me (I should probably delete the "do as I say not as I do" attitude). I need to rely on God more and myself less! When I give Him something that is too big for me, I need to remember I gave it to Him because it was too big for me, and NOT take it back from Him!
I know my problems PALE in comparison to what so many are going through in their lives. I have an AWESOME husband that loves me unconditionally. He tells me, he shows me and I truly believe he would do anything to make me happy. He works extra hard to provide for his family, even when he doesn't want to. I don't know how I ended up with him, but I thank God daily. We have five beautiful and healthy children. I am proud of them all. The continuously challenge me and teach me. I am blessed to stay home and be here for my family. We have a roof over our head, food for our mouth, clothes for our body, vehicles to get us where we need to be. We may not have an abundance of money, but we have what matters the most, and He has always provided for us.
This year I want to focus on healing every aspect of my life that needs healing so that I can be a better wife, mother and friend. I want to focus on the good in my life, because there is SO much good in my life! I want to clean out all of the negatives that clutter me.
My word for this year is HEALING.
There is the obvious, physical healing. The past year has found me in the worst health I have ever been in and it has seemed never-ending. After months of different treatments and lots of blood being taken, it seems we finally got the major health issues under control, but it is still being closely monitored. The possibility of me having problems from it at any moment always lingers in the back of my head. And, with each time the problem reoccurs it could get harder and harder to treat. There are also side effects to the illness and the meds that I have to learn to live with.
Shortly after getting that under control, I injured my knee. Three months later and I am still in a knee brace and still not 100% sure exactly what is injured. I am to the point where I would prefer to have surgery and move on with my life!
I have already been sick several times this season. Due to the immunosuppresant drugs I am on this is something I will probably just have to get used to.
Then there is emotional healing. There are relationships in my life that need healing. There have been things that have happened that have not been addressed. I simply have been stubborn and let my hurt feelings get the best of me. In reality, maybe it is completely unknown to the other person that they upset me. We don't all see things (or hear things) the same. Maybe I am assuming that they know what they did (or do) and did (do)it on purpose. But, even in the case where someone KNOWS what they did was wrong and hurtful, but refuses to apologize, that is not on me. I still need to forgive and move on.
Then there is spiritual healing. I need to work on myself to become more like Jesus. I need to be more forgiving, less hypocritical, less judgemental, more PATIENT. I need to be a role model for not only my children, but those around me (I should probably delete the "do as I say not as I do" attitude). I need to rely on God more and myself less! When I give Him something that is too big for me, I need to remember I gave it to Him because it was too big for me, and NOT take it back from Him!
I know my problems PALE in comparison to what so many are going through in their lives. I have an AWESOME husband that loves me unconditionally. He tells me, he shows me and I truly believe he would do anything to make me happy. He works extra hard to provide for his family, even when he doesn't want to. I don't know how I ended up with him, but I thank God daily. We have five beautiful and healthy children. I am proud of them all. The continuously challenge me and teach me. I am blessed to stay home and be here for my family. We have a roof over our head, food for our mouth, clothes for our body, vehicles to get us where we need to be. We may not have an abundance of money, but we have what matters the most, and He has always provided for us.
This year I want to focus on healing every aspect of my life that needs healing so that I can be a better wife, mother and friend. I want to focus on the good in my life, because there is SO much good in my life! I want to clean out all of the negatives that clutter me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
