Challenging

That is the best way to describe my life right now! Yes, my challenges are MINUTE compared to what many people are going through. I know this! I think I am slowly being prepared for what is to come in the oh-too-near future that life with four boys and all the "glory" that will come with that.

Oh, don't worry, I have not forgotten about the girl. I think she was our gift just so we don't get too comfortable with raising boys. We would not ever want to believe we had become "pros" at raising children (HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!)

I always wanted a big family (as did "we" when I became we). Equal amounts of boys and girls (alternating boy than girl than boy, etc). Evenly spread out. Perfect amounts of sibling love and rivalry (obviously much more love than rivalry). Life would always be fun and exciting and for the most part calm.

If you know my life and family, you are laughing with me right now!! That was MY plan. If there is one thing He has taught me it is definitely that MY plan is just that, MY plan. His plan, however, is THE plan. So, I can tell Him what I think should happen and what I want to happen, but He knows best!

I am a girly girl. I would be happy wearing heels everyday. I get up each morning and put my make-up on. I spend time every morning trying to decide what I am going to wear everyday - even though I know I will be at home taking care of my house and family. I like pretty things. I want to take care of what I have. I like things to be CLEAN! I am totally aware and okay with my OCD (especially when it comes to my house being picked up and at least semi-clean).

I don't like bugs. I prefer not to get too dirty (although I do like being outdoors). I don't like chasing frogs and lizards and snakes. I don't think anything in the rat family is cool. I don't care to spend my time discussing bodily functions, or seeing who can make the loudest or stinkiest.....well you know (again, really don't care to discuss them). I don't enjoy going outside on a hot day and having a competition with my siblings to see who can turn the most purple and have the most sweat dripping off of me. These things are just not my idea of fun.

This is me. This is how God made me, how I am wired.

You gotta love God's sense of humor!

If you take the two paragraphs above of my likes and dislikes, turn them around and you have four of my five children. If I like it, they are not interested. If I dislike it, they not only like it, they LOVE it!!! They also love to see me squirm. So, they like to do things like put slugs on my front door knob while they are waiting for a school bus. Even though they don't get to SEE my reaction when I go to open the door and spot the slug sliming around on it, they know how I am going to react and that is enough for them.

Mads, at this point, is the perfect combination of a girly girl and a tomboy. She already loves dress-up, shoes, purses, shopping, getting her nails painted, etc. But, she will put on her tutu and accessories and go play in mud puddles. She wants to be outside running around with her brothers. Bugs don't bother her in the least. She loves smelling flowers. When she has had enough of her brothers, she lets them know in a blood-curdling squeal of a scream. She talks ALL.THE.TIME (NO idea where she gets that from).

The kids ages are spread out so much that we are getting experiences from many stages all at one time. We have two "tweens", one almost a full blown teen and one just entering the tween phase. We have one stuck in the middle, not quite a tween, but not a preschooler either. We have a preschooler and we have a toddler. Each phase comes with its own challenges. Then they feed off of each other. The oldest likes to pick on and antagonize the younger. The younger want to be just like the older. The one in the middle can act like the older kids and hang with them or throw a temper tantrum bigger than the little kids.

Although the challenges are seen daily, they are obviously much worse during the summer when none of them get much of a break from each other. They all want their parents attention, but they all want it in different ways. Some push us away, but put out hints that there are certain things we do that they really like but don't want to admit too. For example, I have one that says how embarrassing it is when I write notes and put in lunch boxes or stand outside and say "huggy huggy kissy kissy have a great day", but if I quit writing notes I get little comments like "there is a kid in my class who has a note from his mom in his lunch box EVERY day." He doesn't say that is cool or isn't cool, just points it out. I take that as "I want a note too!!" And, if I DON'T get out the door quick enough when the bus is spotted, I have boys that come in several times as it comes down the street to say "the bus is about to be here Mom...where are you?" Those are signs to me that they WANT that attention, but don't want to admit that they want it. Andrew is used to have lots of attention during the day (as is Mads), so when there are three more people here to "compete" with there are lots of screams, attitudes, fighting, etc.

I always heard if you have an odd number of kids, someone is always left out. I see this being true too. We definitely have children that always play together and it is usually the same child that is always left out. They all know which buttons to push to annoy everyone (including their parents). I am constantly having to correct someone for something. There is little relaxation between the hours of 7 am (if we are lucky) and 9 pm.

Several times a day I feel like a failure. When the kids are in bed I question if they each got enough attention and what can I do better tomorrow. I feel like I get frustrated way too easy, way too often. Patience is something I frequently pray for more of. I see my children struggle with something and then I struggle with feeling like it is my fault (even when I know it isn't).

I know this is all part of parenting, and we all go through these struggles and challenges. Sometimes they are all a bit overwhelming. But, when I see how quickly they are growing up it makes me want to try a little harder and enjoy the phases we are in a bit more. It makes me thank God for everything he has blessed us with and appreciate His sense of humor even more. After all, who doesn't love a good challenge (or 5)?