Smart Discipline

As you can imagine, discipline with this many kids is a must! It is also very challanging to find something that works for everyone. The last several weeks we have been trying a discipline plan that was recommended to me. I have been told it works for EVERYONE! As of now, I am a believer.

It is called Smart Discipline by Larry Koenig. Basically, you make out a list of rules. Each child has a daily or weekly chart. They get so many "free" squares a day or week and then they start losing privelages. On each chart you right a rule that the child needs to pay specific attention too (while still following all of the other rules) and you rwrite something positive that they did the day before.

We started out with daily charts for all of the boys. They had three free squares (three chances to do something wrong before they start losing privelages). In each of the other five squares you write a privelage. If that square gets x'd they lose the privelage for that day.

Here are the problems we found with this chart:
1. the boys were rushing through homework or saying they didn't have homework (then getting up the next morning and trying to do their homework before school) so they could have their privelages.
2. Everytime I would tell Andrew he was getting an X, he would cheer. It did not matter how many times I would explain it, he thought a x was a good thing!

So, after a week we had to reevaluate how we did things. We went to the weekly chart. They get 7 free chances for the week and there are five privelages listed.

After pleading many times with the boys and refusing to help with homework in the mornings and telling Caleb if he didn't study I would expect him to come home with a 100 for EVERY. SINGLE. GRADE. in school (which he found TOTALLY unfair and said my expectations were TOO HIGH), I had had enough! Since, ALL of the kids were rushing through or saying they didn't have homework we took away all weekday privelages. I told them that from the time they got home (which is about 5:30 by the time we do swim) until bedtime they were not allowed to do anything but homework (stopping for dinner of course).

THIS finally got their attention, especially when they realized I was serious! Now, the privelages that they chance losing are their weekend privelages! This weekend was the first weekend to lose weekend privelages and they had all lost some! It was hard on all of us. Paul and I would have to remember that certain kids couldn't watch tv or go outside and who could. And let me tell you..they TRIED to get us to forget! For once, no one tattled "so and so isn't supposed to be watching tv because they lost that privelage." The charts ARE NOT mentioned by the kids!!

The charts are hanging up in the kitchen. If I X someones box, I write why it got the X. Then they do not have to question me as to why they got it. As they are learning this is being taken very seriously, they are getting less and less X's.

I had given up on the chart with Andrew for a while, because it just didn't seem like he was getting it. Then I heard him fighting with Caleb and he said "I am going to tell Mom to give you a X because you are being bad!"

His chart went back up RIGHT then! I am obviously a little easier on him because he is still learning the rules. Also, the book says to start them at age 4 with these charts and he is only 3.

The best thing is that this is supposed to cut down on a lot of the lecturing. And it has. Now I just say "You are getting an X because....." and they say "yes maam". Sometimes it is with some attitude, but they do not backtalk (they learned real quick that would earn them another X)!

This weekend (when he was not allowed to do many of his weekend privelages) Caleb asked me to go back to the daily charts. I asked why and he said because he never lost privelages when they were doing daily charts (which is good since they are at school all day). Then he asked me if he could earn back his privelages, which I said no. THAT is when I KNEW I had found a winner discipline plan! They recognize that they have to do their part to get what they want. They also realize this is something we are sticking with :)