Yesterday was an exceptionally bad day! Sometimes the monotony of life as a stay-at-home mom gets the best of you. While I LOVE my job, it is hard to spend every day cleaning and doing, yet have it look like you haven't done anything. Add on top of that the fact that I had made some curtains for one of the boys rooms (that they had been nagging me about), and they got pulled down within a couple of days of being put up. So, I was feeling a little under-appreciated as well.
I did not handle it well. I did not want the one day of "fake" over-appreciation that they wanted to give. I was very un-accepting. But, after everyone went to bed last night I was thinking of the way I behaved. I was being very self-absorbed and feeling sorry for myself.
See, children - probably especially boys - show appreciation in a different way. It isn't always a "I-really-appreciate-everything-you-do-for-me obvious appreciation. With boys you have to take what you can get. Sometimes, it is Caleb asking if I need any help with anything. Or, Isaac giving hundreds of hugs. Maybe it is Bryce asking if he can be my foot rest as he crawls under my legs (and he will sit their for as long as I want him to), or giving me a hand massage. Andrew is continuously giving hugs and kisses and telling me "I wuv you Mommy"!
As a mom, instead of feeling sorry for myself, I have to LOOK for the different ways I am shown appreciation. Beyond LOOKING for signs of appreciation, I have to ACCEPT the way the boys show the appreciation as if they WERE saying the words out loud to me.
Part of my job as a Mom is to do what I need to do whether I feel appreciated or not. It isn't always easy and it isn't always fun. It might be one of the hardest things about being a mother. But, I love that I have been blessed with a hard working and dedicated husband that does what he has to do so I have been able to stay home for the last 8 1/2 years and raise my children.
Boys are strange little creatures and they have their own way of doing EVERYTHING! No matter how hard I try to teach them to make their emotions a little more transparent, they apparently just are not built that way. So, instead of feeling sorry for myself and expecting something that I know I am not going to get (and then getting disappointed) I need to accept what I am given and appreciate that I am given it!
I have enjoyed so much getting to be there and watch my children grow up (much too fast I might add). They are the most precious gift I have ever been given and I don't want to miss any of it.
I love you Caleb, Isaac, Bryce, Andrew and Madeleine!!
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