Trip to the Zoo

We have been having some WONDERFUL weather since we had the tropical storm last weekend. Lows in the 50s, highs in the upper 70's, low 80s. Yesterday we decided it had probably dried out enough to take advantage of the beautiful weather and go to the zoo.
I decided I was going to go without the stroller or wagon we normally take with us. The kids had a LOT of energy built up that they needed to get rid of. We were going to walk until they could not walk anymore. And, we did.

Potty Trauma

The first few days of potty training we had all the potties prepared for Mady. We also had a small potty in the living room, just in case. Sometimes she liked to just sit on the potty and watch cartoons.

The first time she pooped in the potty she was doing just that and it caught her off guard. She got up concerned that she had pooped in the potty. I went and checked and sure enough she had. Now, I was expecting that to take a while, I definitely was not expecting it that soon.

Momma SQUEALED with delight (because if it is in the potty Momma does not have to clean it off of her). I was hooting and hollering and cheering,

Mady SCREAMED! I guess she thought she was in trouble or just was not sure what to make of it.

I traumatized her. The next few days she would NOT poop in the potty. She would disappear to her room and then come tell me she had pooped. We would discuss where we are supposed to go as I cleaned her up (and may have possibly promised some bribes, but that is neither here nor there).

The next time she DID poop in the potty, Mommy was very careful in how she cheered and told her what an awesome job she had done and what a BIG girl she was. Let's be honest - the rewards helped too!

Thankfully, it did not take her long to get over the trauma her Momma caused her.

Slimy Pockets

Over the years I have learned to check pockets before putting the kids clothes in the washer - especially school uniforms where crayons frequent. Here is one thing you do NOT want to shove your hand into at six am when you are trying to start laundry:



Thanks Son! I guess the chicken and carrots portion of your dinner didn't do it for you.

Guess what? The 6am heart attack you gave me didn't really do it for me, either. Putting my hand in YOUR pocket full of something cold and slimy has a way of waking one up!

Potty Training - The FINAL Chapter

I introduced the potty to Mady when she was about one. I did not push it on her, did not make her use it, just got her a pink potty and put it in the bathroom. She would occasionally ask to sit on it. She would occasionally use it. Basically, it was just there.

I have tried a couple of times since she turned two, to get her to use it. Again, occasionally she would. She would go through times when she would ask to sit on it and she would sit on it for LONG periods of time (by her own choice). She would get up and have a big pink ring on her bottom (should have gotten a cushy potty), but usually nothing in the potty.

Right before school started I decided I was really going to try to get her potty trained. She was not really interested. She would sit on the potty if I asked her to, but that was about it. Then, I had a reaction to some meds and got pretty sick (sicker than I already was). There were several days I could not get out of bed and when I was able to I had ZERO energy for anything, much less potty training. Daddy was so busy trying to work, take care of his normal house chores, take care of MY chores, do the cooking and taking care of the kids. Potty training wasn't really on his radar. So, potty training went to the sidelines.

Last week I finally had the energy to attempt it again. We started Monday. Something clicked with her (pretty sure it was the rewards ;)) and she has not peed in her pants since Monday (nights don't count). We went cold turkey. No diapers or pullups during the day at all. A while back we found some panties with her favorite characters (Fancy Nancy and Hello Kitty) and we bought them. She was so excited to wear them and quickly realized they were much more comfortable than diapers!

I don't know what got into me, but I would not even put a diaper on her when we went out to run errands. She never had accidents while we were out. After less than a week, she was going to the bathroom by herself. She would go do her business, then run out to me and say "Mommy, I peepeed in the potty. I a BIGGGGGGG girl! Come on Mommy" as she waves her little hand in the direction of the bathroom. She still has to wear a pullup at night, but she is not even two and a half yet so I kinda expected that. The good thing, though, is I am not changing diapers AT ALL! She gets up in the morning, takes it off and goes potty.

Yesterday she wanted to go to church in her panties. I told her she could and packed some extra clothes. I didn't know if she would go for someone else, or in a new place, or with the excitement of all the kids - but there was no time like the present to find out! I took her in and told her teacher that she was in panties and then I took her potty. I honestly expected to pick her up and find her in her extra clothes. She wasn't!

After almost THIRTEEN YEARS (you read that right) I am done changing diapers! Let's NOT do the math on the time I have spent changing diapers or the MONEY I have spent BUYING diapers. Let's just say Pampers LOVES us :)

As hard as most of the "last first" have been (with Andrew and Mady because we thought Andrew was going to be our last baby) this was not really a hard one. The hard part is seeing my baby as a little girl now. The other day she was in just her panties with her hair up in a ponytail, singing and dancing around the living room. I must say, at that moment, I wanted to run and get a diaper and put it back on her. It seems like yesterday I thought I would never have a girl, much less a girl with enough hair to put in a ponytail (her hair has been slow growing), or a girl in panties singing and dancing. I will not miss diapers, but I DO miss my BABY baby (she will always be our baby) girl!


Okay - so girls ARE easier to potty train than boys!

Fun Pics

Okay, so I HAVE to get back into my blogging! FB has made it so quick and easy to put pics up that I tend to do that and never get around to putting them on the blog! Hopefully, with school starting soon, I will get back into the swing of things!

Last week the oldest two went to church camp. They had a blast and I enjoyed the extra time with the younger three. We saw this memorial rose garden and thought it would be a fun place to take some pics. It was really sunny and hot though :(

Madeleine LOVES wearing her boots! She will wear the boots around with nothing else. Anytime she sees me put on my boots, especially with that dress, she runs and gets hers and asks for the dress she is wearing in these pics. I have wanted to get pics of us in our boots for a while.

The Truth About ADHD

I have had this post swirling in my head for a long time, but have not had the courage to actually type it. This topic is one of those sticky ones and usually people seem to have strong feelings one way or another about it, usually depending on if they live with it or not. I am not putting this out there to pursuade people to feel one way or the other on the topic or change anyones mind. I am strictly putting my experience and struggle out there.

I am talking about Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. I have two children that have been diagnosed with some form of ADHD, and the road to get to where we are has not been easy on any of us (and still isn't).

To medicate or not to medicate is a question that gets lots of controversy. Honestly, a couple of years ago, I was more on the don't medicate side of the fence. I was also very uneducated on the topic! Many people, and I was one of them, thought that as a parent if you "medicate" your child for ADHD you are essentially trying to change who your child is.

I could not have been more wrong.

When the first child was diagnosed, it was after months of trying to figure out why he was struggling so bad in school. He was never in trouble. In fact, his was so hard to figure out because he was so quiet and calm that he blended in to the class. He never raised his hand in class. He went from making good grades one year to big time failing the next year. It took us half of the school year, many conferences with teachers, interventionist, school counselors, principals, not to mention drs, to figure out that he was, in fact struggling with ADD. Even after the diagnoses, I was still on the fence about meds. He had symptoms like disorganization, procrastination, forgetfulness, easily distracted, etc. The class would move from English to Math and he would still be asking questions about English. He just could not focus.

After talking to his dr at length about what was going on, and how we felt about medicine, etc. the dr told us about a medicine that only last 6-8 hours a day and when it was out of his system, it was out. The side effects were minimal, if any and there was no concern of dependency. We could give him the medicine only when he needed it (when he was going to school or doing something that he really needed to concentrate on). The dr started him on the lowest possible doseage.

We stayed in constant contact with his teachers for updates. Since he was only taking the medicine at school and it was out of his system by the time we got home, we had no choice but to trust his teachers to pay close attention to him. Thank God, we were blessed with a couple of teachers that were more than willing to help us out. They truly had his best interest at heart.

That was a brutal year. He struggled SO much and worked SO hard to get his grades back up so he did not get held back. He would come home from school and do homework until bedtime, with no complaining. He volunteered to go to summer school that summer so he could continue to work to get caught up. The next year he went in to a transitional class, meaning small class size (16 kids as opposed to the normal 25ish), that had interventionist come in regularly and work with the kids on their problem areas. He went from failing one year, to getting his grades up to C's sprinkled with an occasional A and B, to last year A's and B's sprinkled with an occasional C. He made A/B honor roll several times last year. It still has not been easy, and he still spends a LOT of time on homework (which is hard because his other two brothers are sponges who don't study and still make A's). But, he doesn't complain. He makes the best of his situation. He knows what he has to do and he wants the grades so he is willing to do it.

He is one dose up from the lowest possible dose of his medicine. We did have to adjust it when we realized he was doing well in his morning classes and not as well in his afternoon classes.

The other child that we are dealing with this with is the opposite. He DOES have the hyperactivity portion of it. But, when many people think of a child with ADHD, they think of the child that is always bouncing around, fidgeting, loud, can't sit still, etc. Those are all symptoms that we deal with. Unfortunately, they are not the biggest or worst symptoms. Those are the "easier" issues to deal with. There are so many other issues that you don't hear about as much. There are impulse control issues like impatience, difficulty delaying responses (which can lead to stealing, hiding things, deceitful type behavior), lying, interrupting continuously, etc. He does not always have the ability to think of the consequence for a behavior he chooses "in the moment". He also has anxiety issues, he is just naturally a worrier.

I don't know why these struggles are less talked about, but I know for me there are many reasons I tend not to discuss it. For one, I do not want my child labeled by anyone. Yes, he has struggles but they do not and should not define who he is as a person. As a parent you never want your child to be "that" child, whatever that means. I don't want his peers to know what he goes through because these are his peers for life. I don't want other adults judging him or jumping to conclussions about him or assuming if something is missing he took it, either. People have ways of remembering things, especially negative things about others. I don't want choices he makes at such a young age to follow him around for life.

There is also a very selfish reason for me not discussing the less obvious struggles. I don't want it to reflect on the kind of parents we are. I know that is a horrible attitude. These are not things we have "taught" our child are permissable. They are not things that we let him get away with, although punishing a child that would seemingly rather suffer the consequence of his choices than to make a better choice is very difficult.

I can see why so many parents struggle with their kids. Society judges so quickly and easily and points fingers, even without having ANY of the facts of the situation a parent is in. I can see where parents would not want to reach out for help if it would put a target on their back for their parenting skills. Things can snowball out of control so easily and I can see where parents can lose their children because they do not know how to handle them. As much as I do to try and help, there are still times I feel helpless and worry about his future.

One of the things that get overlooked about this diagnosis is the self-esteem of the child. When you struggle with everything you do and you always feel like you have the wrong answer, why would you want to raise your hand in class? When you KNOW you make poor choices, but don't feel like you can control those choices, it is easy to feel like a failure and not good enough to be around others. Then you start making up lies to make yourself look and feel better or get the attention you crave but can never get enough of, no matter how much you get. It is a whirlwind and it is heartbreaking to watch in both situations.

With the second child's diagnosis, it has been almost a year. I am not convinced we are at his dose yet. He is still on a very low dose, but I am not sure we are there. He makes great grades, even though we struggle getting him to do his homework. He will hide his homework worksheets, throw them away, tear them up, and tell us he has no homework. Since he is very unorganized we have to pull EVERYTHING out of his backpack every evening and go through papers one by one (he does not use his folders). If it is blank, he has to do it, whether he says it is homework or not.

I still do not want my children on medicine for ever. The child that has the inattentivness we have found that he loves golf. We have also found that golf is great therapy for him. He is in First Tee, which teaches life skills through the game of golf. He learns how to interact with others, look them in their eyes, good strong handshakes, respect, etc. It is also a game where you take your time and are not rushed. He has to pay attention to what he is doing though. I do not give him his medicine before he plays. I want him to learn that he can do things without depending on his meds. I want him to learn that he can learn to focus and pay attention to what he needs to without meds. But, I do NOT want his grades and learning to suffer while trying to teach these lessons. Most importantly, he LOVES the game and his self-esteem in the last year he has played has sky-rocketed. He is the only one of the kids that plays, and we plan on keeping it that way. He has something that he is good at, and none of his siblings can outdo him at. He likes to show his siblings how to play. Eventually, we might let the others learn, but not yet.

With the second child's diagnosis, his is a little more serious in nature as far as long term effects. I worry about him because there is so much substance abuse in our families and I know the addictive nature is in his blood. I don't ever want him to feel like he needs to turn to something else. He is in counseling. I am trying to give him every oppurtunity to succeed at life and not let him let this define who he is. He is learning coping techniques for when he feels impulses to do or take things he should not. He is learning to think of the end result of his choices and how THAT will effect him. He is learning to help himself. His counselor feels like he is making good progress, but it will be a work in progress for some time.

I feel like we spend a lot of time in power struggles with each other, so the counseling, although the counselor and I only spend a few minutes each session talking about what has been going on since last time we were there, helps me as well. She is able to get things out of him and feelings out of him that we are not.

As any mother, I always want what is best for my children. I will move Heaven and Earth to give them what I can and offer them any help I can. We cannot do this on our own. We have been blessed with a great support system with the drs and counselor and golf staff. When it comes down to it, I cannot make their choices in life for them. I can only give them the best foundation I can and hope they get the most out of it for life.

Meanwhile, I continue to pray for them and for their lives (of ALL of my children). And, I continue to pray for lots of patience and understanding and forgiveness. After all, isn't that what I have to ask that God has for me?

Wrapping Up Summer

Another summer is quickly coming to an end. That means my kids are still growing too fast.

This will be Andrew's last year at home. The past year we have done a lot of discussing and praying about whether or not to put him in preschool. The cost of the public preschool here went up significantly this year and while his education is very important to us we decided to just wait and let him start Kindergarten next year. He has done very well learning at home and he has NO issues as far as being a VERY social (often times TOO social) child. My only concern with him not being in a preschool environment is the fact that he does not have the structure at home that he will have at school. This year we will be spending some time working on sitting quiety, staying on task, etc., as much as I can with a four year old and a two year old anyway. Then we will hope for a teacher on the stricter side when he DOES start next year! My days of having kids at home all day are becoming numbered and I want to enjoy it and soak it in while I can.

This summer has been good. I started it off with a vacation (albeit a working vacation) with my husband. It was so awesome to get to spend some time together alone and out with other adults. It was our first trip without kids since we had kids - 12+ years ago!! We have to find a way to do that more often! It was nice to see that we still like each other and can still enjoy each other without kids.

A couple of weeks after that trip I got to go on a trip with my bestest friend ever -for going on TWENTY years *cough, cough*. This was another first. We talk just about daily, but she lives in Texas and I live in Louisiana, so we don't see each other much. It was great to get to spend some RELAXING, kid-free time with her.

In between the trips we stayed busy with golf camps, church Bible studies, lots of swimming, etc. I was not too excited about getting a pool when Paul first mentioned it, or even as it was going up. But, I LOVE it! Man, can it zap the kids energy!

The last couple of weeks have been rough for us all. I have been under the weather and back and forth to the dr. It is never good when Mom cannot get out of bed for a week and a half and when she does make it out of bed she is weak and has no energy! It was great to see how concerned and caring the boys were though. They really helped me out, especially the older three. And, I got several get well soon cards from some of the boys.

This week Caleb and Isaac are at church camp. They have been looking forward to this all summer and I am glad that they are getting to go. The year we moved to Louisiana Caleb went with our church in Arkansas. That was the last time he got to go. He is going to the same camp, but at a different campus in Mississippi. This will be Caleb's last year with this camp and then he moves up to Youth Camp. That means next year I will have THREE to pay for! I can't wait to hear all of their stories when they get home.

Next week Bryce is going to Dallas to spend five days with Nana. He is so excited and he doesn't even know all of the fun plans she has for him. He has spent the last week guessing because he knows I know. He has been wanting to go to Legoland since he found out there was one in Dallas opening. He has asked several times if he is going with Nana and I just keep shrugging my shoulders. She also got them really good seats to the circus. He has never been to the circus, so I am sure he will love that.

Next week we start our School Orientation/Open House rounds. Three kids at three schools this year! It will defininetly be a school bus transportation year! But, at least I can stagger what times they get up and who has to be ready when. It MIGHT make it a little less hectic in the morning, but I am not going to hold my breath about that!!

Then, school starts the 11th!! We have a 7th grader, 4th grader and 3rd grader! I think they are all pretty much ready to start. Caleb is looking forward to being on the swim team again and is playing in the band again. Isaac is still playing golf, which is more or less year round.

I hope everyone enjoyed their summer (and those who still have summer left continue to enjoy). While I will miss having my kids all at home, I am ready to get back on our more routine routine!

Bad Dr Etiquette

Last Friday I went in for a medical procedure in which I was to be sedated for. I went back to get the IV put in and wait for my turn. As I am being wheeled back to the procedure room, my dr and another dr are in the hall talking - rather loudly.

The excitable dr to my dr ".....and then when someone dies we put a plaque in the room right here." he says as he walks into the room I am about to be wheeled in to.

I am NOT sedated yet! "Ummm....well let's hope we will NOT need that plaque today!" I say as I go in the room.

My dr quickly says the other dr was talking about when a DR dies, not a patient.

I told him that the word death, dead, die, or any other form of the word did not need to be coming off his lips before he comes in to my room - seems like bad luck!

As I am being sedated I hear someone in the hall saying "The patients do not want to hear the drs talking about death back here."

GO FIGURE!

My dr did apologize for the other dr and said that is not something that should be talked about when they are surrounded by people having whatever procedures done.

Life - Knowing How to Turn a Door Knob

Since Mady has learned to open doors, bedtime has become very not-easy! She does not stay in her bed, or her room. If I get up in the middle of the night I have to be careful where I step because who knows where she might be sleeping. Usually it is in the hall, right outside her bedroom door, on the hardwood floors. You also never know what she will be wearing. I have found her completely dressed (in regular clothes, not pajamas), I have found her completely naked, I have found her in her tutus, I have found her in as many as 7 pairs of panties and just this morning (at 2:45) I found her like this:



That is the stinky boys bathroom next to her and the door at the top right corner of the picture is her bedroom. And, she has her Pinkalicious book with her :) She is wearing a night gown AND pajama pants this time. I tried to move her to her bed and was up for the next hour trying to get her to go to sleep. Then she was up to stay around 5:45!

A "BORING" Girls Trip to Florida

For a while now, a friend and I have been trying to get away for a little trip - just the two of us. We were going to do it the year we turned 30, but I had Mads instead. A few months ago, my wonderful husband did lots of research, found us a great deal, booked it, paid for it and sent me the info. We were going to Florida and staying on the beach!

Emily and I have been friends for almost *cough* 20 years. This is the first time we have ever done anything like this. She lives in Texas and I live in Louisiana, so we don't get to see each very often, although we "talk" (through texting and IMing) every day. It was nice to get away from everything and both of us have a VERY relaxing vacation!

We got checked into our hotel around 3:30 and we were on the beach before 4! I was more relaxed in the short amount of time we were out there before dinner than I had been in YEARS! By the next morning, my brain was turned off. It was such a different beach experience with no kids. At first it was weird not carrying a ton of stuff down to the beach and watching kids every move. But, I QUICKLY began enjoying this new experience - and LOVING it. Don't get me wrong, I love taking my kids to the beach. But, as I have said before, I do not consider taking five kids anywhere a vacation. I call them business trips.

THIS was a VACATION!

The only choices we had to make each day were beach or pool and what are we having for dinner (we went to the grocery store so we did not even have to leave for breakfast or lunch). It was awesomeness! The hotel had two pools and a hot tub. The big pool had a waterfall in it, and inside the rock under the waterfall was a bar. It was also a COLD pool! We got in once and that was enough for us. We used the hot tub several nights and I got in the heated pool a couple of times.

Mostly, though, we chilled at the beach :) Paul would ask if we were having fun and my response was always "yeah, in a relaxing, do nothing kind of way" which he always replied was boring.

A boring vacation is just what I needed! I VERY rarely have anything "boring" in my life, so yes, I am at the point in my life where I apparently crave boring (and I didn't even know I was craving it).

The water was pretty rough while we were there, and got rougher by the day. There was a lot of seaweed and it wasn't as clear as it normally is. The last day (of course) the water was still rough, but it was beautiful and clear. I did not go very far into the water until the last day. On Monday night when we went out to take some pics there was a sign at the water that said Do Not Enter - Rip Current! Between not being able to see in the water, and the fear of rip currents (which we were warned about a lot) I was content to lie in the sand!

The drive home was good until we got to the Mississippi side of Alabama. We had a a pretty heavy, short rain. Then, as soon as we got in Louisiana it was a DOWNPOUR! I don't like driving in rain. After a while I realized my hands hurt from squeezing the steering wheel so hard. We could not see in front of us, lots of water on the road, high winds, everyone driving between 35 and 40 with their flashers on. I wanted to exit and sit it out, but we could not even see the signs on the side of the road TO exit!

As nice as it was to go, it was nice to come home too! The kids were super excited when we got back. And I was too, especially since I came home to a spotless house (he even did all the laundry)!!